Why Wasn’t This On My 100 Things List?
A few weeks back, my friend and fellow watcher of awful television, Lane, sent me a quick email. It seems Miss Lane often attends book signings at a certain bookstore in Kansas City, especially for gifts for her young nieces. And this certain bookstore now sends her emails about upcoming writers that will be doing book signings in the city. And who was coming to our frozen tundra, you ask?
Ummmm…..yeah. Right?
LC. Lauren Conrad. From The Hills. Lovers of crappy TV unite! And begin to geek out!
So Lane and I decided to attend this very special event, where our sure to be BFF Lauren would be signing her new novel, “Sweet Little Lies,” which is basically The Hills written down on paper and bound in a hardcover. Whatever, it’s LC! Squeeee!!!!!
As the event got closer, Lane and I started trading emails about how we were going to charm Miss Conrad into being our new best friend so she would eventually ask us to join in her new reality show and we’d become rich and famous. Obviously. One particular email from Lane pointed me to the site Go Fug Yourself dot com, where they had featured LC and a fabulous yellow coat.
I immediately replied:
To: Lane
From: Megan
Sub: Re: A Little SomethingDUDE! I totally have a coat that is almost, just like that! I’m gonna wear it on Monday, and she’ll be all, “Wow, girl, that coat is amazing!†And I’ll be all, “I know, right? Let’s be best friends forever!†And then I’ll fly off to Paris and have lunch with famous designers and she’ll probably write a character for me in her new book.
That, or she’ll call security. It could go either way.
Then Lane sent back to me:
To: Megan
From: Lane
Sub: Re: Re: A Little SomethingOMG! You have a coat like that??? Why have I never seen it? I swear I will not steal it from you. (maybe not)
Which is when the backtracking started. See, my coat is not exactly like LC’s. It’s shorter, and a different color yellow, but hell, it’s close enough and you bet your collection of Star Trek memorabilia I was gonna wear it.
When we arrived at the event venue (a church….weird) I noticed that Miss Lane had gone home to change into some stylish outfit, while I was wearing my classic work attire (black pants, random top, salt/sand from the snow splashed all over my backside) with my famous yellow coat. Which, I may add, is totally a Fall coat and I was freaking freezing. But I knew my friendship with LC was in jeopardy, so I sucked it up.
The two of us acted like complete psychos while waiting for LC to arrive. We giggled. We tweeted. We made fun of all the other attendees. We discussed what the heck we were going to say to LC. We laughed hysterically. We shot dirty looks at the girls sitting next to us with their YSL bags and LV coats.
And Lane made fun of my coat. She tweeted about my coat. Laughed at my assertion that it looked anything like the coat we’d seen LC wearing on that fashion website.
Our ticket numbers were finally called and we got in line to get our books signed. All the while nervously trying to figure out what we were going to say to LC (who, I might add, looks exactly like she does on TV, exactly). We got up to the front, where some lady brought her kid and totally charmed LC and her entourage, and I silently cursed my decision not to bring Lulu. Lane (that creep) snuck behind me so I’d have to go first. Crap! Now what? I walked up to the table, and handed my book to one of LC’s assistants, who passed it on to LC to sign. She looked up at me, and very nicely said hello. Here is an abridged version of our conversation:
LC – Hello!
Me – Um, hi…(looks down like a freak show)
LC – How are you?
Me – Fine, um, thanks.
LC – I love your coat!
Me – (blink, blink, blink)
LC’s Assistant – Yeah, it looks a lot like yours (to LC). The one from the other day.
Me – (Look at Lane….blink, blink, blink)
Lane – (Hands her book over to be signed) Great, now I’ll never hear the end of this.
Me – I told you!!!
Lane – She wore it because she said it looked like yours and I told her it didn’t.
Me – (Dances off the stage)
LC – Well, it is a little darker.
Me – (Dies. Boom. The End.)
Back in the audience, Lane and I couldn’t freaking believe what had just happened. I quickly tweeted my version of events so I wouldn’t forget…and Lane replied with the following:
So unfair. I will never hear the end of this. Ever. Seriously.
And then this….
Also, I hope everyone likes the coat, because I think she’ll be wearing it until she’s 80.
I mean, I guess I didn’t get invited to Paris or New York or L.A. But still. I think the night turned out better than anticipated.
My response:
@laneodle, suck it!!! I win at life!!!
I am nothing, if not classy.
I just snorted from laughing at your convo with LC. I think spit might have come out too I was laughing so hard. GURL you are funny.
oh. and im jealous. ; )
Ummmm. That is mostly accurate. However, I did not say why you wore the coat though I’m sure it was inferred.I did tell LC that you had said your coat looked like hers, and I had said it didn’t.
Happees for you! Brushes with the famous are awesome – esp. when you feel like you stood out from the crowd even a smidge! Yay for Spooner’s darker yellow coat (BTW I totally loved that yellow coat of hers on that fashion website as well…)
🙂
Inger, I love that you are reading this right before you go to the hospital to be induced:) Dork.
Megan, I’m so glad you went to this book signing. I had thought about it, but didn’t go. And that’s so cool she liked your coat! Whenever I am at a book signing, my conversations go about the same way and then two hours later I think – dang, I could have said that!