Tears of Joy

Yesterday my very pregnant friend, Abbie, went into labor. I spoke to her twice, and the second time was not good. She was in active labor, struggling quite a bit and was still not eligible for pain medication. I stayed pretty calm on the phone (I think), but the minute we got off I started freaking out. For the rest of the day I was a flighty, nervous mess. I would start one task, then have to get up and walk around. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I was more tense then I was when I myself went into labor. Because at least then I had some control. Even a minute amount was worth it. But yesterday I just sat staring at my phone. Willing it to ring with good news.

I knew I shouldn’t call. When I was in labor I turned my cell phone off, as I couldn’t stand the ringing. So I texted her, figuring if she had an epidural (finally) she would get back to me. After five hours, I starting finding things to do to keep my mind off of that hospital room in Manhattan. I took Lu down to the Plaza. We went to the bookstore and picked out some new reading material. We went out to eat. I had a beer. Waiting.

Trent eventually joined us and texted Abbie’s husband to check on things. The response:

“We’re starting to push. I think I may pass out.”

Finally! Some tangible news! Then a few hours later we received the announcement, via text, of course. He’s here!

And last night, as I laid in my bed, I couldn’t help but cry a little bit. Because I know how much their lives are now changed. How when she wakes up this morning, it will be a whole new world. And how when she looks back in a few years, she’ll find it hard to believe that so much time has passed. She’ll hardly remember who she was before. Of course, she will still be Abbie, bad knock-knock jokes and all, but now she is a mother. She has a son. And as I sat in my bed, reading a memoir of another mother who’s story is freakishly similar to my own, I cried. Because I am so lucky to be who I am. So lucky to be a mother. Lucy’s mother. And now someone I love so much will finally understand how I feel and what I could never explain.