Right Now, I’m Not Doing So Hot
Guilt sucks. The emotion of guilt should be drug out into the street and shot. And people who make you feel guilty when you already feel like crap, those people, should be punched in the nose.
But what do you do when those people are people that you love?
When your daughter falls down at a BBQ and scrapes up her knees and elbows? When she takes a tumble an hour later and skins her forehead a bit? Do you blame yourself for not being there every, single second? Or do you chalk it up to being a child?
I personally, blame childhood, low balance capability, and the giant beachball she insisted on carrying around all day (throws off the balance when you’re under two feet tall). But some people blamed me. I wasn’t there. I wasn’t careful enough. I should have taken her home hours earlier as she was obviously tired and needed to rest. And even though I’m the one who is with her, alone, 85% percent of the time, it can’t be that things are just going to happen when I’m there. Oh no, it seems I will always be the one to blame.
This should be something I can shake off. Move on. Screw ’em, I’m a great mother. But right now, I simultaneously want to punch someone in the face and cry alone in my bed. I make mistakes, yes, it’s true. But I also think that kids hurt themselves. It’s part of life, a very important part that needs to occur in order for kids to learn. She’s gonna fall, she’s gonna bleed, she’s gonna cry. That’s life.
Right? Or am I just the shittiest parent there ever was. Because right now, I can’t decide.
OK, I have written my response to this three times now…..
You are a GREAT mother
We don’t live in a padded world
Lucy had a great time at the BBQ
There will be plenty more ‘owies’ – Lucy is a healthy, strong, advanterous child
You are a GREAT mother
Megan you are a wonderful mother! We all have our battle wounds of childhood and now they are fun stories. Yeah I have this scar from when I was 2 because I was climbing…hence the ‘I’ and not the Mom. Letting Lucy be free must be the hardest thing for a parent/you to do. I believe as a non-parent but none the less Lucy will be even stronger and more prepared for the next bbq beach ball adventure!
xoxo
Quit blaming yourself. Kids fall down. That’s how they learn to get back up.
Do I need to beat someone down for running their mouth? Because, I will. I have no quams about kicking peoples asses that mess with my Mama Megan, especially since you are so wonderful and caring to that little monster ; ) Just kidding, Lucy is a doll and she is a rough and tumble kid, scars make great stories in the future and life is all about learning. I love you my dear and if you ever need me to yell at people, I will!
Collin constantly has bruises and scabs and scrapes that I can’t even remember how he got! He looks like a battered child, but should anyone ask – of course he is the most loved child ever, he is just busy! And that is Lucy -busy. They can’t keep still – it is against their nature. Please, let me know if I need to educate people in your life! Love you all, babe!
Inger
thps.
What are you supposed to do? Throw yourself on the ground to cushion her fall if she trips? You could’ve been right next to her and she probably still would’ve fallen and gotten scraped. That’s what little people do.
Motherhood=Guilt.
But you are so ahead of the hovering masses to realize that accidents happen and it makes children, well, children, not you a bad or irresponsible mother!