In Holding

I am now 37 weeks pregnant. That’s really, really pregnant, for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term. I’m due in 3 weeks, but really, it’s less than that, as we’ve decided to induce this little sucker if he’s not here by the 20th. So really, it’s like 2 and a half weeks left. Help. Me.

Things we don’t have ready yet:

– A crib
– A bedroom (one that has, you know, flooring)
– Any type of clothing
– A bag for the hospital
– A real childcare plan for Lulu

Things I do have ready:

– Christmas presents
– That’s about it….

To say I’m freaking out would be an understatement.

I haven’t slept over an hour at a time in a few weeks, and all the pressure is starting to drive me insane. I’m attempting to keep on a brave face at work and in front of Lu, but it gets harder every day. I’m a planner, and to not have certain things ready to go is literally hurting my brain. I’m hoping we can hold out until the 20th, but even then, I know we won’t be ready.

I’m trying to remember that you can never really be ready for your life to change so dramatically. Three to four, one to two, kid to kids. I’m not good at waiting. I’m good at doing. Once he’s here, life will be hard, but at least there will be movement forward. We won’t be in this neverending limbo of “when, when, when?”

Basically, I’m just saying that I’m slightly bonkers right now, so if you see me, cut me some slack. And maybe offer a shoulder to cry on. Or some ice cream. Or a smoothie. Whatever.