Finding My Path : Experimenting and Hoping for the Best

I’ve written quite a lot here about my journey to find my path in life, both professionally and personally, and since it’s been a while, I figured it was time for an update. When we last left you, I had quit my full-time, high pressure career to start a new position as the head of marketing for an IT company. An IT company that happens to be owned by a certain cute entrepreneur. This guy.

Our plan was for me to work part time until both kids are in school full time, with hours added in as need be for events and deadlines. I also planned to keep blogging five days a week here at Crazybananas and writing freelance articles as often as possible. Oh, and I took a position as a research editor for an incredible design website too. And I am still doing photography on the side.

Guess how long it took until I burned out? Two months. Just two months, that’s it! After I left the Alt Summit conference in late January, I was overwhelmed with how I was going to make my life’s passions my eventual career (the “plan” is when Trent sells his company I would be able to take a full time job blog/photography position somewhere, or even make a living freelancing). All of the incredible women I met seemed to be doing so much more than I had time for, and I felt hopeless. Yet, I kept at it for another 30 days before I finally said, ENOUGH.

For a month now I have not written a freelance blog post. I started posting here only 3 days a week instead of 5, and all but threw out my editorial calendar that haunted my dreams. I started writing when I felt like I had something to say, instead of feeling like the sky was falling if I didn’t just post something (ANYTHING!) here. A few photography projects fell to the wayside as I prioritized the assignments I had already committed to, and then I didn’t add anything new to replace them.

So, how’s it going? Well, the work is okay. Yes, my page views on this site have dropped and yes, my social media interaction isn’t that wonderful, but I’m still posting here. I feel good about what I’m putting out into the world wide web, and I’ve pretty much eliminated all the filler. I miss contributing to other blogs, but I have confidence I’ll be able to pick up again soon, once I get a better handle on what my schedule with two kids at home, plus part time work, plus bloglife will allow. I’ve had a few photography shoots for friends, and I completed my Go Mighty project. Things are still moving, the world is still turning.

The most important thing is how I feel today. I feel good. I don’t feel the adrenaline rush that typified the last year of my life as I began this journey, but that’s okay. You don’t have to be inspired every day. Some days you’ll look at your vision board or your list of goals and you’ll think…meh. That is OKAY. In fact, it’s probably for the best. Because after a few days or weeks or months or even years you’ll look at that list of goals and feel a flutter in your tummy again. Your heart will race and you’ll think, “I’m gonna do this!” And the best part? You’ll be in a well-rested, happy, good place when that moment arrives, instead of strung out and exhausted. You’ll be able to tackle it because of taking your time, not in spite of it.

So, that’s my update. I am still here. Not every night, frantically typing in to the wee hours, but instead, pouring out some thoughts before I shut the lid to my laptop and head off to read my new favorite book (A Song of Fire and Ice, I am loving you right now!). I feel good, content and happy. And even though I’ve seen there are less of you reading here now, I think the very best of you are still around. Thank you for being here.