Conversation

The following is an exerpt from a conversation that Lucy is having right now, even though, technically, right now she should be taking a nap. This conversation is taking place in her crib and has been going on for the last hour.

Lucy: “AHHHHH! Oooooh, ah, pssst, gah, ga-Ah, oooo, hehehehe, YAH!”

Translation: “Hands, oh glorious tools of our Lord. How am I so lucky to have you, my beautiful hands. I could stare at you forever. Oh, and look! I can put you in my mouth, and then take you out. And then put you back in again. Why are you so wet and slimey, hands? I’d better put you back in my mouth to make sure you are OK. Gee, Mama’s an idiot. She puts me in this contraption [crib] and expects me to fall asleep?! With hands here? Is she insane?! What if I wake up and they are gone? Oh, I can’t even think about it. I’d better stay awake, just in case.

Lucy: “Blaaaah, poo, gaaah, gaaah, gaaaaaaah, YEEEE-AH!”

Translation: “Holy. Crap. What are these? Hands, did you know that these things were here? They look just like you but they’re stumpier. And they are at the bottom of my legs. Glorious leg hands! What is that, regular hands? These are FEET?! Don’t be silly, they look just like hands to me. Maybe I can fit one of these in my mouth, too. Man, this is a fun ‘nap.’ Stupid woman, if you put me in here with all of these toys I’m never gonna fall asleep. Just like the Fresh Prince said, parents just don’t understand.”