A Few Thoughts on North Carolina

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One of my goals for 2012 is to try and be a more positive person in every aspect of my life. My ongoing quest to be happier has led me to the knowledge that while I can’t help being a sarcastic (and according to my husband, a snarky) person, trying to look on the bright side of things really does put me in a better mood. I know, I was surprised as you are. I’ve never really been a “lalalala life is wonderful lalalala” kind of person, so it’s been a challenge, especially when I get overwhelmed at work or my husband leaves the kitchen a mess or my kid cries for 20 minutes straight because he can’t figure out how a doorknob works. I mean, it’s a DOORKNOB! Evolution, where art thou?

But, in general, I’ve been doing an okay job. And people have noticed. I “look happier.” I “seem lighter.” I am “less of a bitch.” Sounds harsh, but it’s true. I’m better, and it has a lot to do with my new outlook. I have cut out things that I know will set me off. For example, I refuse to even look at the TV in the lobby of my office, because I know Fox News will send me in to a tizzy. I have pretty much stopped listening to NPR, because the political news makes me sick. If I have a call from someone who I know will put me in a bad mood, I hit ignore and wait to call back until I’m hyped up on happiness.

But here is my worry: Ignorance is not bliss. Just because I’m not acknowledging the insane wackos of the world doesn’t mean they disappear. Just because I am sticking my fingers in my ears and humming the theme song from the Smurfs doesn’t make them stop spewing hate, it just makes them scream louder.

Gay Marriage Protests

{Image via jvadnais on Flickr}

I had a conversation with a co-worker today, and our main issue was understanding how this could happen. How can 70% of North Carolinians really vote against equality for all. Completely ignoring the moral issue at hand, how can a political party whose ENTIRE MANIFESTO is all about getting government out of the personal lives of the people, PUT THE GOVERNMENT DIRECTLY INTO THE MOST INTIMATE PART OF PEOPLE’S LIVES!? I really, really don’t understand.

My consolation is that I (who live in one of the most conservative states in the country, one that teaches school children that the world was created out of fairy dust by a bearded white guy 2,000 years ago…in public schools) literally don’t know a single person in my group of friends that is anti-gay marriage. And most of my friends are conservative. It’s a non-issue. We may disagree on heathcare or religion or taxes (usually all of the above), but we agree exclusively on this topic. Unfortunately, agreeing isn’t enough.

I am turning 30 later this year. I am no longer a member of the “youth vote.” And yet, amendments like those that passed in North Carolina yesterday still happen ALL THE TIME. Hey, my generation, where were we? We all get upset and angry and annoyed, but are we just forgetting to do the one thing that matters? Voting? Are we allowing the aging and ignorant population that preceded us to outvote the rights of our friends? I just don’t understand. I don’t.

I retweeted this last night, when I was too angry to form coherent sentences:

Twitter_NC

OK, guys. Let’s stop pants crapping. Let’s grow up and fix this. Because if we don’t do something, we’ll have no one to blame, but ourselves.

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To get involved:

– Join the Human Rights Campaign
– Join Moms United Against NOM
– Join GLAAD
– Register to Vote
– Watch this video of the late Mauice Sendak, author of Where the Wild Things Are and gay man, who passed away yesterday, right before this sad vote happened. He was an incredible man. An incredible gay man who apparently doesn’t count in North Carolina. Makes me sick.
– Say something. Don’t just sit quietly and accept this. Get out there, whether it’s on the internet or in person or on a street corner like a crazy person, and say “Fuck this. I’m not going to take it anymore.”

#SOPA #PIPA Blackout

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Hey! You! Have you heard of SOPA or PIPA? And no, I don’t mean Her Hotness, The Sister of the Princess of Whales. I’m talking about two bills in the U.S. Congress that are poised to take away much of the freedom we currently enjoy on the world wide web. You know how sometimes I’ll link to a silly video on this site? Well, if I did that in a post-SOPA/PIPA world, the government could then prosecute me for that link. And we all know that while I do love the color orange, I’d never make it in federal prison. I bruise like a peach.

Go here to see how your congressperson is voting in regards to these overreaching bills and then contact them. For the first time since the last election, one of my senators is actually supportive of my position (I’m a liberal in Kansas, the state that is required to teach Christianity as science in public schools…wheeeee!). Mr. Jerry Moran (R-KS) is opposing PIPA, but my other congresspeople (who are we kidding, congressmen, we are in Kansas you know) are either supporting these insane bills or have not yet made their position public. I encourage everyone to contact their representatives and make your position known. Let’s keep the internet free for everyone, even this guy.

The Real Issue Here – A Guest Post by Abbie Young

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First of all, before I even begin – let me say I am no expert on this matter. I do have a mere 6 years of experience in the child welfare system, but most of all, to my credit, I am aware, something I have come to realize most of America is not – and I will explain exactly what I mean by “being aware.”

On November 4, 2011, Jerry Sandusky, a former Penn State Assistant Football coach was charged with 40 counts of sex crimes against young boys, following a three-year investigation into allegations that he had inappropriate contact with a 15-year-old boy over the course of four years, beginning when the boy was ten years old. The boy’s parents reported the incident to police in 2009. A grand jury identified eight boys singled out for sexual advances or sexual assaults by Sandusky from 1994 through 2009. At least 20 of the incidents allegedly took place while Sandusky was still employed at Penn State.

These allegations sent a short-lived shock wave through not only Penn State, but also our country. People were shocked and horrified that events like these could take place and be swept under the rug. However, the sex crimes committed against these young boys was quickly overshadowed by what would happen to legendary coach, Joe Paterno, who did not take the appropriate measures in reporting these allegations to the authorities.

As I watched the press conference where the announcement was made regarding the firing of Joe Paterno and an hour of coverage that followed, I was mortified that Sandusky’s name was mentioned once…ONCE, and the victims of his crimes were not mentioned at all. Instead, the conversation on TV surrounded how Penn State would prepare for their football game on Saturday against Nebraska, the students rallying support of their beloved coach, and the future of Penn State football.

Certainly you can see what’s wrong with this picture. During the hour of commentary I watched, here are the facts that were presented:

One. (Paterno) On the list of all-time winning-est coaches in the FBS, No coach in the history of Division I college football has won as many games (409) as Paterno.

Five. Coach Paterno has led five Penn State teams to undefeated seasons.

Twenty-four. With 24 bowl victories, coach Paterno has won more postseason games than any other coach in history. He is also in the record books for having the most bowl appearances at 37.

Sixty-two. The number of seasons Paterno has been a coach at Penn State.

These are the number that were reported last night. I was sick. Angry. Disgusted. THESE ARE NOT THE NUMBERS THAT MATTER. Following are the numbers that should have been reported.

EIGHT. The number of boys (that we know of) who had their innocence stolen from them the moment Sandusky sexually abused them.

TEN: The age of the boy Sandusky allegedly sodomized in the shower.

TWENTY: The number of incidents that allegedly took place while Sandusky was employed at Penn State.

FORTY: The number of counts Sandusky has been charged with regarding sexual abuse allegations.

Coverage then switched to students gathering to protest against the firing of their beloved football coach. At this point, I began cursing the TV and my husband began wondering if finally the hormones had won out and I was going crazy.

Here is what saddens me. These boys’ lives were irrevocably changed by Jerry Sandusky. These boys were further traumatized by the fact that no one in a position of power cared enough about their well-being to take the proper measures in reporting the abuse, and they are still being traumatized today by our country’s misguided support of a football coach who played a hand in a blatant failure to protect innocent children. What message are we sending to not only these 8 victims, but all the victims of child abuse in our country?

Sadly, what has come to light in the wake of this situation at Penn State is a complete lack of awareness as to what really happens to children in OUR county on a daily basis. Make yourself aware because it is happening in your country, your state, your town, your neighborhood. If you think sexual abuse does not happen in your area – you are not aware.

Penn State had an amazing forum to take a national stand against child sex crimes. Instead, students are holding drunken riots in support of a football coach and news stations are reporting a completely misguided set of facts, ignoring the real issue here. Penn State may win their football game on Saturday – but answer me this – why do we live in a society that thinks this is more important than the abuse of innocent children?

Be someone that focuses on what really matters in the wake of these horrible allegations surrounding the events that took place at Penn State. There are things you can do and no act is too small. Here are a few ideas:

www.nationalcac.org
The National Children’s Advocacy Center is a non-profit organization that provides training, prevention, and treatment services to fight child abuse and neglect. – Find your local chapter and volunteer.

www.casaforchildren.org/
A nonprofit network supporting and promoting court appointed volunteer advocacy for abused and neglected children so that they can thrive in safe, permanent environment free from abuse. – Find your local chapter and volunteer

www.d2l.org
Child sexual abuse information and statistics

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Abbie Young is the former director for Lee County CASA and has worked with CASA throughout the country for over six years. She is also one of my BFF’s and a kick ass lady. Listen to her.

Here’s to the Crazy Ones

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Young Steve Jobs

I, like a million others out there, it seems, was surprised by the emotional reaction I had to Steve Jobs’ untimely passing yesterday. I was at the gym, and was putting on gear at the rock climbing wall when my phone buzzed with a call. I ignored the call, but jumped on Twitter, because my brain apparently can’t function without knowing what all my tweeps are up to at any given moment, and I saw the news.

I cried.

At the rock wall at my gym, with a harness hanging off my butt.

After I took a few deep breaths, I decided instead of climbing my normal, easy route, I’d try a harder one that I’d never conquered. I wanted to feel my muscles strain, my heart beating harder as I clinged to my fake rock. The first two tries I made it halfway, then lost my grip and fell, the auto belay slowing me down as I reached the ground. But on the third try, I made it past the one area where I kept losing my footing, and then made it easily to the top.

I’ve done a lot of (totally obnoxious) soul searching in the past few weeks. Maybe the realization of turning 30 soon-ish means more than I thought it would, but I have done more new things in the last three weeks than in the last few years. I want to find my happy, you know?

I think that’s why Steve Jobs’ death hit me so hard. He lived his happy. He created a whole new world, changing the landscape so drastically, my kids will never know life without his devices at their fingertips. Lucy could work an iPod Touch before she could speak in full sentences, I send videos of Tate to far flung family members using iMovie on my iMac, when I had to trade my iPhone in for a Droid, Lucy cried. CRIED. I have worked on a Mac computer on and off since the second grade…and not a day goes by where I don’t use something he invented. He created machines that took art and design and music to levels that were impossible to dream. Microsoft made computers for work. Apple made computers for life.

On Twitter, @Mom101 said “People are saying Steve Jobs was our generation’s Edison. I kind of think he was our John Lennon.” I responded, “I think that’s why he was so great…he was both.”

An artist and an inventor. An entrepreneur and a designer. A master marketer and a prolific engineer. Insane and enlightened.

His genius will be missed.

Godspeed

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I remember my first shuttle launch. I was 7 years old, in 1st grade, October. I remember everyone being jealous that I got to take a week off school to go to Florida. I remember staying in a condo at Coco Beach, just about 30 minutes from Cape Canaveral, where the shuttle launches from. I remember getting up before dawn and piling in my family’s blue Ford van to head to the launch site. I remember my brother and I falling asleep in the backseat and then waking up as we parked in the swamp area around the viewing space. We set up lawn chairs and got out our cooler of refreshments. My dad walked with us to the concession stand where we bought t-shirts and tiny shuttle replicas and ice cream. We waited for hours. We avoided the “Beware of Alligator” signs (the place where the public watches shuttle launches is also a nature reserve).

Space Shuttle Endeavour STS-134 (201105150004HQ)

And then they called the launch. Bad weather was headed our way, so they’d try again in a few days.

I remember being sad, but knowing I was heading back to a condo on the ocean helped a bit. We spent the next few days playing in the surf and collecting sea shells. Then, once again, we headed back to the Cape, to see what we could see.

The strangest part of a shuttle launch is that you see it before you hear it. The little light climbs higher and higher, and then the rumbling begins. It starts out quiet, and before you know it your hands are clapped over your ears and the ground trembles beneath your feet. If there was ever anything that deserved the descriptor, awesome, this is it.

I was lucky enough to see every shuttle vehicle launch in my lifetime (save Challenger, which was destroyed before my dad’s grant with NASA began). The first one was Atlantis, then Discovery, Columbia, and Endeavour. I was there for Endeavour’s first flight. Today it began its final ascent.

I know many people are talking about the negatives of the shuttle program right now. What it was meant to do, what it didn’t accomplish…but the strides that we have made in terms of human spaceflight, experiments, the delivery of so many important pieces of equipment to outer space (Hubble telescope, International Space Station, numerous probes to other planets in our solar system) far outweigh the negatives in my mind.

Plus, we as a species are creatures that long for discovery and adventure. “Space, the final frontier…” yes, dorky, I know. But true. I hope with all of my heart that we continue manned space flight in a way that is productive and intelligent, and not just let politicians decide NASA’s fate. Almost every great mistake in NASA’s history can be traced back to bad government pressure to make it cheaper, faster, more popular (Columbia, Challenger, Apollo 1 and Apollo 13 to name a few), and going down that path again will only lead to more disasters.

Here’s to the future, full of science, discovery, knowledge and awe…Godspeed, Endeavour.

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