I Belong With You, You Belong With Me

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We are related.

A lot of people have been asking me what the best part is about my new schedule and getting to spend more time at home. At first I wasn’t really sure what to say, I mean, it’s only been a week and my real schedule doesn’t start until January. But yesterday, when I sent Lulu off to school and Trent off to work and sat down on the couch with my sad little boy (he doesn’t like it when Daddy and Lulu leave without him), I think I figured it out.

This little dude hasn’t received too much one on one time with me in the past. Like most younger siblings, there is always someone else around who needs me at the same time as him. So he waits, sometimes patiently and sometimes very impatiently, until I can get to him. Until Lulu was four and a half (and I’d venture to say even since Tate was born), we have always been a little duo. We look alike, act alike, and we spent a lot of time together. She has always been my little buddy, my partner in crime. While of course I love my kids the same amount, Tate never had the chance to be a part of the duo. And I’ve never had the chance to have him as my partner in crime.

But this last week, we have had hours of time together, just the two of us. He is changing so much every, single day, and I get to watch it in real time. Yes, of course, I have had moments of total breakdown and have thought I should go running back to a full time job. But those moments are so much less often than the ones where I look around in disbelief at the life I am getting to lead now.

I know when I start my new job in January, things will change again, but for now, I’m enjoying this little ride. The video below is something we shot with my phone yesterday right after Lulu and Trent walked out the door in the morning (please note the bed head and PJs). I was trying to distract my sad little guy, so we started taping ourselves. Tate’s favorite lullaby is a super-butchered Megan version of The Lumineers “Hey Ho,” so I started singing (I’m sorry for the audio assault…there is a reason I’m not a singer) and his reaction is just perfect.

I love that boy. This is the reason the whole thing is worth it.

Happy Halloween!

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22 Months

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Dear Taterbug,

This month you turn 22 months old, which means we’re almost at the end of these letters. When your sister turned two, I decided to stop writing letters so frequently, and instead just write a little note on each birthday, so for tradition’s sake, I’ve decided to do the same with you. It’s all about being fair, Tate. I don’t want either of you in therapy whining that I loved the other one more…and if you do end up there, please make sure to tell them how many times you’ve “accidentally” given me a bloody lip with your flailing head/arms/feet/body, just, you know, so they get the whole picture.

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I don’t want to jinx anything, but I think we may have turned a very important corner, Tate. For the past six months or so you’ve been, let’s say…difficult. Every. Single. Thing. is a HUGE CHORE WORTH SCREAMING AND WHINING AND CRYING AND LAYING ON THE GROUND OH THE HORROR!!!! Dinner time is basically me launching macaroni and cheese at your face while you scream at me that its too hot or too cold or too cheesy or not cheesy enough. Then you throw your food on the ground and yell at the dog for eating it. Poor Molly, she does not get you, Tate. Why throw the food on the ground if you don’t want her to eat it? I hear ya, Molly, I have no idea either.

1. From where I stand...the baby and the dog are having a stare down over a cookie. And yes, I'm wearing my sweet MHS track warm ups. #fmsphotoaday

But in the last two weeks, you seem to have broken out of the crazy train. You are reminding me more and more of the happy little infant you once were. Will you ever be as “laid back” as we assumed you were? No, I don’t think so. But you sure are happy. You love to laugh and will find any excuse to do so. The other day, I had a friend at the house and every time she made eye contact with you, you’d fall over laughing. You had us all in tears Tate, it was hilarious! As are you. And you know it.

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These last few months have been really hard on me, Tate, and you can sense when I’m sad or when I need your support. In fact, the laughing fit I mentioned above took place as I was crying over some recent drama I can’t control. You could feel the weight on my shoulders, and you picked it up like it was nothing, flinging it across the room with your antics. You and your sister have never been closer, teaming up to make me feel better when I’m down. Somehow you both manage to crawl on my lap as we lean back and forth in your rocking chair, with your hands resting on each others faces as you sing me lullabies.

Tate begs for me to hold his hand while we're driving. He is such a sweet boy.Gave the baby a chocolate ice cream cone. #onefunthing

You are so smart, Tate, already reciting your ABC’s and counting to five. I can finally understand you now, which I think is a huge part of your recent departure from frustration land. You can tell us what you want. We can have crazy, babbly little conversations. You have dance parties with your sister where you’ve developed some pretty sweet moves. You pretend to be a dinosaur and we chase each other around the house. That’s probably your favorite game, pretending to be something that growls. Dinosaur, bear, lion, whatever, as long as it growls in your face, you love it. You’re going to be so pissed when you find out you’re a mere human.

Tate is afraid of the windshield wipers, so Lu has to hold his hand in the car when it's raining.Untitled

Some of my favorite moments with you happen right before bedtime. You love to go to bed, and the minute you feel tired enough, you run up the stairs and lay down on your bedroom floor, waiting for me to change your diaper and clothes. You then gather up your two favorite blankets and your stuffed dog and we settle in for an evening reading of Corduroy, your favorite book. After we’re done, we turn out the lights, turn on your sound machine and rock together for about five minutes. Sometimes you lay quietly on my chest, relaxing into the swaying motion. Sometimes you spend the entire five minutes pointing out my every body part (EYES! NOSE! EARS! HAIR! MAMAAAA!). Either way, it’s the perfect ending to a day with you.

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I love you, Taterbug.

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Love,
Mama

P.S.

Daredevil

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While spending time at the lake has always been fun for our little family, it can sometimes be, well, a bit boring. My parents have a pontoon boat, which is lovely, but slow and with the kids being so little, it’s hard to get them excited about putting around the lake at 2 miles an hour while they overheat in uncomfortable life jackets. Lulu is just now getting to an age where she likes being on the boat (mostly since she can now wear a skiing lifejacket which is lighter and way more comfortable…see here for an example of how uncomfortable it can be), but when it’s so hot outside, as it’s been this year, we pretty much all want to skip the boat all together.

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Enter, the newest lake toy, a jet ski! I’m as surprised as you are that my depression era parents sprung for a jet ski, but apparently my sister and her husband are very persuasive (thank goodness for siblings!) and convinced them it would be a good buy and a way to get people out at the lake more often. I was worried Lulu would be scared, since it’s loud and she’d never been on anything like it before…but holy moley, was I wrong. She LOVED IT. When she and Trent first went out, we could hear her laughing all the way from the other side of the lake. When I rode with the two of them (it’s a three seater), all she wanted was to do doughnuts over and over, while flying over our huge wake. She couldn’t get enough!

On their last time out on the water, Trent took our little underwater HD video camera with him and captured some video of the fun. They were going so fast the sound was horrible, but I think you can still tell how much fun they were having. Viva la jet ski!

The Sounds of Sunset

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This past weekend I spent some time with the family at my parents’ lake cabin in the small town of Council Grove, Kansas. We have had a crazy and stressful summer with work obligations, and as we have no plans for a real vacation, a weekend at the lake was a welcome break. My parents first bought a house on the lake when I was about four years old, so when I think of my childhood, especially the best parts of my childhood, I think of this place.

On Saturday evening, I found myself all alone in the cabin, as the super hot temperatures (105 degrees!) and the stress of the previous week had caught up to the rest of the family, who were conked out in bed. I decided to go down to the water, where I watched water skiers as they did their best to squeeze one more drop of fun out of their day before the sunset. I was listening to the singing secadas and the waves lap up on the rocks…and I decided you might want to join me! So I busted out the trusty iPhone and shot this quick video.

I know people hate smart phones (and blogs for that matter). Some people feel like we’ve lost our ability to communicate or enjoy a moment because we’re always thinking of that next tweet or Facebook update or blog post. But I think that little computer in my pocket is such a magical thing. It allows me to share wonderful moments with all of you. I sat on the dock and watched the sun go down, and I was so excited for you to (sort of) be there with me.

And hey, if you want to see more photos from our lake weekend, click here!

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