Working Mom Must-Haves
When Lulu was a baby and I went back to work, I (like everything else I did when Lu was a baby) had no clue what I was doing. I didn’t know where to look for resources or advice on how to balance having a career and motherhood, so I made up the rules as I went along. I suppose it worked out, but it definitely wasn’t easy.
The second time around I was lucky enough to be surrounded by an amazing group of working mothers who support each other and have made this whole surreal experience of motherhood a little less lonely. I’ve gained so many tips and tricks that have helped me in the transition back to work, and I wanted to share them here! Beware, I will mention the word breast. And maybe even boob. God help us all.
Work Wardrobe: I know, I know, you just had a baby, right? So money isn’t really flowing in (especially with all the doctor bills, new infant gear, diamond encrusted baby spoons, et cetera), but trust me, a few new wardrobe pieces are super important. First of all, your body is now different. Regardless of whether you’ve lost the baby weight, things just won’t fit the way they did before. Sorry, that’s life. Secondly, if you’re like me and you’re still nursing, you’re going to need some easy boob (ack, there it is!!!) access in order to pump during the day. And finally, it will make you feel better. You’re going to be sad to leave your little one at home, and getting all dressed up in some new digs will make you feel confident and happy. Yes, I know that’s vain. But it’s true.
I recommend just getting a few separates to spruce up what you already have. My new work purchases included a few cardigans, two new pairs of shoes (purely for fun), two new dresses (one that is button up and one that is a wrap…again for easy pumping access), and a couple of cute tanks/shirts. I didn’t spend much (mostly shopped at Target, sale rack at Nordstrom and Kohl’s) and felt way better about my return to the office. I’m lucky that my work is mostly business-casual attire, so I can pull off jeans on Fridays and don’t have to spend much to enhance what I already have on hand. Below are a few pieces that have inspired me so you can get an idea of what I’m talking about. Included with some work attire are a few fun pieces for weekend/summer wear as well.
[And look, I even was spotted on the street as super-stylish! Yes, my good friend runs that site, but whatever, I’ll take it! This outfit pictured is one of my new work purchases…note the separate pieces, great for pumping/nursing during the day.]
Online Shopping: And no, I’m not talking about clothes. You’re going to have to get those in-store to figure out what fits your post-baby body. But everything else? Hells yes!!! My schedule is totally full during the day, and now that Lucy is older our weekends tend to book up quickly as well. So when in the world am I supposed to go grocery shopping?
Here are a few sites I love and use weekly (if not more). They have totally saved my sanity.
– Hy-Vee: Online grocery shopping in the Kansas City area. You just order and pay online, then you can either pick up your order at the store or have it delivered right to your house. Yes, a small fee is included. My time is worth the extra $10.
–Diapers.com: This is where I get most of our baby gear, including diapers, wipes, toys, clothes, baby food, nursing supplies…the list goes on and on. I am also a big user of Soap.com, which provides pretty much anything you could find at a drug or beauty supply store. Shipping is free over $40 and orders usually arrive the day after they are placed. It is pretty much the best thing ever.
–Hallmark.com and Amazon.com: With three siblings for both Trent and I, plus three sets of grandparents, two sets of great grandparents and six nieces/nephews, I am constantly running into stores to buy cards or little gifts for all of the occasions that require a little something-something. Now I can order a great card, personalize it with pictures or words, give an address and Hallmark will mail it for me. Awesome-sauce. Amazon is wonderful for gifts, and if you’re an Amazon Prime member, 2-day shipping is free. You know, if you forget until the last minute or something. Which I never do. Ever. Ahem.
– Good Nursing Bra: I know, I just said bra. Ew. But you’ll need one. A good one. Trust me, I didn’t spend the money on this the first time around, and really, really regretted it. My recommendation? Go to Nordstrom, get fitted by a lingerie specialist as your body and boobs (ahhh word bomb!) have changed and your size won’t be the same as it was before, and then if they don’t have your size in stock (hahahaha 34 DDD!) they can order it online and it’ll ship for free. Dunzo.
A Good Breastpump: Get a Medela…I have the Pump N’ Style in a backpack and it is awesome. It isn’t heavy, it’s easy to carry and it’s discrete. Which you need when you work in a office full of men. And be prepared to be asked if that is your lunch in the cooler or to have awkward encounters while cleaning the parts in your office kitchen. Guys can be dumb. But they mean well.
A couple of other accessories I’ve found useful are the quick clean wipes (so to avoid that whole kitchen cleaning fiasco), sanitizing steam bags (just pop in the microwave with some water and your pump parts are sanitized), and of those ridiculous looking bustier things that makes it easy to pump both sides at once (beware, boobs abound in this link!), which will save tons of time.
Smoothie Maker/Protein Powder: When Trent bought a fake magic bullet smoothie maker online I laughed and laughed and told him he was an idiot. I am the nicest wife ever. But this thing has been a life-saver for our crazy mornings that almost always end with me being late for work regardless of what I do. Since I’m still nursing, I have to eat like crazy to keep milk supply (ugh, sorry!) up, and adding protein to my smoothies has really helped. A banana, some plain Greek yogurt, a handful of frozen strawberries and blueberries, add in some orange juice and a splash of pomegranate juice and you’re good to go!
Smartphone: If you don’t have a Droid/iPhone/Blackberry, it’s time to invest. I keep everything from grocery lists, to nursing charts, to videos of the kids, to calendars on mine. I tend to spend a ton of time on the go, to client meetings, soccer games, daycare runs and wherever else I need to be, so having everything on hand and easy to manipulate is a must. And when I find myself having to nurse or change diapers in my car due to lack of time, the games and videos keep Lucy busy. Win, win.
Daycare Planning: Nothing is going to make leaving your baby with a childcare provider easy. Sorry, it’s just a sucky part of being a working mom. But trusting your daycare provider and being comfortable with your set up is so, so important. With Lucy, I just made a snap decision and spent months being freaked out and worried about her. With Tate, we decided early on that we needed a daycare that was reliable and almost always open, instead of a in-home daycare. We loved in-home care because of the specialized attention and low cost, but it wasn’t worth the headaches when the provider was sick or wanted vacation time or whatever, and we found ourselves scrambling to find last minute care. So we now do a full center during the school year, and then summers with a nanny. Not that much more expensive and gives me peace of mind. Best decision ever.
Some websites that might be helpful in your daycare search:
– Daycare Connection: This is how we found Lucy’s daycare when she was a baby. It is for the Kansas side of the KC Metro area, and is free (though they ask for donations after a few free searches). All the daycares are state accredited/certified and they provide contacts for all types of care, including in-home, daycare centers and nannies.
– Daycare Resource: Similar to Daycare Connection, but for Missouri. We didn’t have as much luck with this service, but we know others who have, so I wanted to list it for you Missourians.
– Care.com: This is a nationwide service that, again, I haven’t used, but I’ve heard great things about. If you’ve used it, leave a note in the comments letting me know how your experience was.
A final tip: When it comes to childcare, try to start looking early, and if your first choice doesn’t work out, don’t freak too much if you want to switch. Lucy was in four different daycares during her first year (plus a few months) and she turned out just fine.
A Great Boss: I can’t find you this, but hopefully you’ll end up with someone who understands that a happy home life leads to a happy (and productive) work life. The more satisfied that you are managing this unfathomable balance, the more you’ll want to work your ass off to keep your job. I’m so lucky in this regard, and it makes being a working mom as easy as it can be.
Anyone else have any tips to share with the working moms of the world? I’m always looking for help/feedback, and trust me, we have to stick together!
Disclosure: This post from my archives is being re-run as part of BlogHer’s Smart Mom’s Guide to Being Busy editorial series, brought to you by Rice Krispies and BlogHer.
Tate the Great
I am the worst at baby books. I mean, obviously, I’m not very crafty, and I honestly don’t do to well with written journal keeping (although I’m working on it!) so I have two, half-filled books with zero photos. I rule. When Lucy was two, I decided it was time to stop writing her monthly letters on the blog, and instead write them yearly. It was around this time I discovered Blurb, an online retailer that makes the most beautiful books out of your photos. I decided in lieu of a traditional baby book, I’d make one for Lulu by using Blurb to put together a book of images and words from those years of letters. I called it “Life with Lu” and it was a huge hit with my family.
I attempted once again with Tate to create a traditional baby book, but as I should have known, I never got around to completing it. So when he was around four weeks old, I decided to go ahead and start writing him letters on the blog as well, thinking I would compile them all in a Blurb book once he turned two. And as luck would have it, Blurb is a big sponsor of Alt Summit, which I am attending this week! They gave all the attendees a free book, and you could use the credit to make whatever you wanted. Enter, my new baby book, “Tate the Great.”
I love the look of these books, and I love that I now have a matching set. Huge thanks to Blurb and Alt Summit for making it a reality! And for all of you lazy moms out there that can’t complete a baby book…there is hope!
(I also use Blurb to make my yearly photobooks…check them out here! Or check out the NYC + KC Blurb book here!)
Two Years
Dear Tate,
Today you turn two-years-old. I am in disbelief that it’s already here! I took off the month of December to spend more time with you, and here we are, almost at the end. I am at a loss for words, but I’ll do my best, since this will be the last letter until your next birthday, and you deserve a little love, my darling boy.
In the last couple of months you’ve become the little boy I know you will be forever. Active, smiling, happy, temperamental, independent, stubborn, sweet and loving. You’d do anything to get a laugh, and your sister is your favorite audience. You’ll scream something strange or make a weird sound out of nowhere and she falls over laughing. The minute you see her smile, you get this impish grin and keep doing whatever it is that’s making her laugh over and over. And over. Many times I find myself telling Lu she has to stop laughing or you’re never going to stop growling at her like a deranged feral cat. But we can’t help it, I’m usually laughing too!
In the last two weeks you have gone back and forth between two dramatic stages. You either desperately want me to do everything for you (“Help you, Mama!”) or you want to do absolutely everything on your own (“I DOOOOO IT!!!!”). I know at some point you’ll find a happy medium, but for now guessing your mood is a crapshoot. It infuriates you if people can’t understand what you are saying, and you will not give up until they repeat you word for word, proving they got it. Your top phrases are “big truck,” “I see airplane!” and “wuv uuuuuu.” I admit, the last one’s my favorite.
I am loving being at home with you, little guy. And I can tell you’re in to it too. You’ve become a bit more clingy to me, and those two days a week when you go back to daycare so I can work are pretty hard. Whereas you used to run into your classroom waving and yelling “bye, mama!” as you pushed me out the door, now you claw at my legs and beg me to stay. It’s no fun, dude. But I get it. This schedule is new for all of us and it’s going to take time to get used to. I know it will be worth it though, seeing your face more hours every day. The days when we are at home alone and Daddy and Lulu go to work/school are so much fun. We hang out in our PJs all day, you playing while I do chores or work on emails. You watch Sesame Street around midmorning and that’s when I do a bit of work on the computer. After that we usually get outside for a while, then we have lunch and you go down for a nap. I work during your nap, and then when you get up, we go get your sister from school. Your face lights up when you see her and she’s so proud of you, showing you off to all of her friends. “This is MY baby brother, isn’t he a cutie?” she says to anyone who will listen. She’s a smart cookie, that girl.
Speaking of cookies, you have a ridiculous sweet tooth, Tater. You are obsessed with cookies and will do anything to get one. Just yesterday morning you were downstairs for about two minutes while I got your sister’s coat on her so she could head off to school. When I found you, you were sitting with an open box of Girl Scout cookies and had already eaten four. At 7:45 a.m. “Cooookkkiiieeee!” you scream, sounding just like the Cookie Monster, who I think is probably your life coach.
Tate, thank you for another incredible year. Thank you for listening to my awful singing voice every night. Thanks for letting me smell your hair (it’s a mom thing, and yes, I know it’s weird) and snuggle into the crook of your neck. Thank you for all the tears, laughs and smiles this last year. Thanks for not making us take you to the ER yet (although I’m sure we’re close). Thank you for all of it, my perfect little man.
Love always,
Mama
I Belong With You, You Belong With Me
A lot of people have been asking me what the best part is about my new schedule and getting to spend more time at home. At first I wasn’t really sure what to say, I mean, it’s only been a week and my real schedule doesn’t start until January. But yesterday, when I sent Lulu off to school and Trent off to work and sat down on the couch with my sad little boy (he doesn’t like it when Daddy and Lulu leave without him), I think I figured it out.
This little dude hasn’t received too much one on one time with me in the past. Like most younger siblings, there is always someone else around who needs me at the same time as him. So he waits, sometimes patiently and sometimes very impatiently, until I can get to him. Until Lulu was four and a half (and I’d venture to say even since Tate was born), we have always been a little duo. We look alike, act alike, and we spent a lot of time together. She has always been my little buddy, my partner in crime. While of course I love my kids the same amount, Tate never had the chance to be a part of the duo. And I’ve never had the chance to have him as my partner in crime.
But this last week, we have had hours of time together, just the two of us. He is changing so much every, single day, and I get to watch it in real time. Yes, of course, I have had moments of total breakdown and have thought I should go running back to a full time job. But those moments are so much less often than the ones where I look around in disbelief at the life I am getting to lead now.
I know when I start my new job in January, things will change again, but for now, I’m enjoying this little ride. The video below is something we shot with my phone yesterday right after Lulu and Trent walked out the door in the morning (please note the bed head and PJs). I was trying to distract my sad little guy, so we started taping ourselves. Tate’s favorite lullaby is a super-butchered Megan version of The Lumineers “Hey Ho,” so I started singing (I’m sorry for the audio assault…there is a reason I’m not a singer) and his reaction is just perfect.
I love that boy. This is the reason the whole thing is worth it.
