Pregnancy Archives - Page 8 of 13

The One Where the Baby was Squished

April 18, 2006/1 Comment/in Pregnancy /by Megan

Yesterday I had another doctor’s appointment that resulted in an ultrasound. I’d gained weight, but the belly was actually smaller in diameter than last time I’d been, so Dr. Pam decided to do one “just in case.” She assured me there was nothing to worry about, and that our baby girl was probably just all curled up in a ball and that’s why the belly seemed small. Anywho, we ended up with another view of the newest member of the clan.

It’s a super-close up shot of her face. If you flip it clockwise, she’s staring straight at you.

First comment: The baby was squished, so her face is a bit unproportional in this picture.

Second comment: Trent seemed to think that this was the creepiest picture he’d ever seen, and is now afraid that along with a baby that has a funny nose, there is a turkey leg in my womb. Let’s all hope I don’t give birth to a turkey leg, because that would be quite the letdown. A turkey leg just wouldn’t look as cute in a pink onesie.

Sidenote: The baby is EFFING ADORABLE!!! The picture is a little screwy because they are trying to take a picture of a being that refuses to hold still for .45 seconds and is all squashed up in my “too-small” belly. So if you think this picture is creepy, just remember how hard it is to take a picture of your dog. Then put your dog inside a ball and wrap them in saran wrap. Not so cute, huh?

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

April 12, 2006/4 Comments/in Blond, Pregnancy /by Megan

I really must remember not to wear thongs while pregnant. It is just not very pleasant, and, in general, a bad move on my part. Stupid girl.

Note: This is why this cannot be a family-oriented site. Because then where would I talk about my thong?

That Looks Like It Hurts!

April 9, 2006/4 Comments/in Pregnancy /by Megan

There you go, people! For all of you who don’t believe the belly is growing…trust me, it is.

Breakfast of Champions

April 6, 2006/0 Comments/in Pregnancy /by Megan

1 Bacon, egg and cheese buscuit from McD’s
1 Dr. Pepper
1/2 Bag of Starburst jellybeans
1 Slice of three-day-old birthday cake

This is going to be one hyperactive, sugar-coated child.

P.S. We’ve opened comments temporarily. If you abuse, I will turn them off again and require everyone to register with Typekey. And I know you all don’t want to register with “The Man.” So don’t abuse. Or call anyone the b-word, p-word, or s-word. Unless you are talking about my mother who has now let me know that she WILL be in the delivery room whether I like it or not. Boy, is she in for an unpleasant surprise when the most bad-ass baby-deliverer on the planet, Pam, tells her to fuck off and get out of the room before we have to call security. It’ll be like our own special episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

Nightmares

March 20, 2006/0 Comments/in Pregnancy /by Megan

Saturday night I had the most horrible, awful dream of all time. I think that part of it had to do with the fact that I went out to a bar last night in an attempt to “hang out” with a bunch of Trent’s guy friends and their significant others. For the first time in a long time, I almost wished I wasn’t pregnant. I was just so damn tired of feeling huge and hideous and boring. I felt how bitchy I was acting and just wished I could have a good time. I saw the girls dancing to the not-so-great band, just laughing and getting completely smashed.
Sucking down jacks and cokes quicker than I could down my sprite.

Then, last night, I had a dream that I lost the baby. And everything fell apart. I thought it was my fault for wishing I wasn’t pregnant. Trent left me. I started doing drugs. Lost my job.

And it was one of those horrible pregnant dreams where everything is more realistic than life itself. I finally woke up, sweaty and crying. And Trent was snoring next to me. And it took about 5 minutes before I realized I was still pregnant. I reached down and felt my belly and couldn’t feel her moving, and just knew something was wrong.

Then, she rolled over. And gave me a swift kick in the gut. And I have never felt such relief and joy in my whole life.

I guess I really do want this baby. More than anything in the world.