Introducing…
Her Royal Bean-ness, Taquita Jezebel Anastasia Peters!
Yup, the bean has girl parts. Trent is in so much trouble. The house will now be full of the raging hormones of a woman, a baby girl and a bitchy dog. Estrogen is taking over!
I guess it could be gas
While I’m laying in bed, looking through sites of more interesting people that have WAY more to talk about than shuffleboard, peeing, pooping, puking, etc., I felt something strange in my belly. I am debating whether it was gas or the baby. If it was the baby, then HOLY FUCKING CRAP I JUST FELT ANOTHER HUMAN DOING BACKFLIPS IN MY BELLY! If it was gas, then someone pass the laxitive.
Best quote from last night
Anyone going to a family Christmas party knows to look out for anything…
“I can spot a pregnant cow anywhere [looking strait at me]” – Person I Will Not Name Because He Claims He Didn’t Mean It That Way, And I Know He Didn’t, But I Still Must Share With the Internet
Also, a favorite from last week’s graduation festivities…
“Get this girl a shot!”
“Yeah, a shot of aborted fetus!”
No, I’m not kidding. Someone actually said that to me. And it was followed by 2 million apologies and late night text messages cursing Budwiser and how it makes this certain fellow act. The best part is, I don’t take offense to these remarks as much as everyone else. I am just happy to have something to write about that doesn’t include bodily secretions or bladder issues!
Another gross symptom
Bleeding gums. Did anyone else know that I’d be spewing blood while brushing my teeth? If so, why didn’t anyone warn me?!
Yet another list of things that made me cry this weekend
The smell of cigarettes. I guess I didn’t realize how much I miss my old companion.
The thought of Christmas shopping.
Actually Christmas shopping.
That damn Three Wishes Show. Damn Amy Grant and her Christian rock!
Looking at the list of gifts wanted by my Secret Santa recipient and realizing I have no idea how to purchase a fishing rod reel. And I really don’t want to have to go to a bait shop.
The VH1 top 40 of 2005 video countdown. So many sad songs. Poor Bono. His dad died and they wrote a song about it. Why did his dad have to die!?
Drunk Trent.
Sober Trent.
The realization that I will be bored for the next 6 months.
Feeling guilty for feeling so crappy about everything and not being more positive about the fact that I “get” to have a baby.
Commercials for St. Jude Children’s Hospital with Morgan Freeman.
