17 Months
Dear Lucy,
As I write this entry (a bit late, I know) I’m packing up my fancy suit and some travel-sized shampoo for a business trip that’s going to take me away from you for a few days. People always ask me if I’m happy to get a little break from you when I go away for work, and while sometimes I nod and laugh, like, um, YESSSSSS, today I told the truth. Nope. Not at all.
Because Lucy, even though I write quite a bit about all of the negatives of parenthood, and there are many, sometimes the positives just outweigh my complaints. Like how you call me Mama now. Or how you will vigorously shake your head and say “NOOOOOO” when you really mean, “Yes…did you hear me? Yes! Why are you taking the thing away that I just said yes to! Waaahhhhh!” Or how whenever you see our reflection in a mirror you throw your head back and laugh, like you didn’t realize how awesome it is to be here with me. Or how when you see your daddy and I hugging, you run from across the room to join us. I mean, how in God’s name could I ever complain about you?
Sometimes, though, you need to cool it with the whining. Seriously. Enough. I hear you. I know you’re crabby. And I’m sorry about that. But the whining. It has to stop. OK, I’m done complaining.
Sunday night, on the drive home from the farm, your dad and I were talking about if, when you’re older, we should tell you that you were “unplanned.” OK, we said, “mistake,” but unplanned just sounds a little nicer. The most incredible thing, Lu, is that we both wholeheartedly agreed that not only is life way better with you in it, but that you were the thing that turned our lives around. We were stumbling through life before, feeling around in the dark for something to hold on to. Now it seems as if every single piece of my life is good, and it all comes back to that “mistake” we made almost two years ago. My relationship with your father, our relationships with our parents and siblings, our friendships, our jobs…it’s all so much better than it was before, and the constant is always you.
I’m going to miss you while I’m gone Lu, but I promise to be back in a few days. It makes me so happy that you’re so close with your dad and I know you’ll have a good time together while I’m away. On Friday, when you wake up, I will be there again, and we’ll lay in bed and watch cartoons and laugh and cuddle. And it will be so incredibly sweet.
Love,
Mama
(Yup, the format is still taken from Dooce.com)
