Today

At this moment we (and when I say “we” I mean myself and the baby) are experimenting with a new napping technique called “Not Being Swaddled.” The child can burst out of the tightest swaddles, swaddles that would even render an octopus motionless, so I thought I’d try to put her down without being swaddled and see what happens. Kind of like a really sick science experiment.

So far, it is not going well…hence the crying which I’m sure you can hear through your computer screens. And if you can’t, just imagine the Count from Sesame Street, you’ll get a similar effect.

Baby Lucy, Movie Star

My first attempt at uploading video of Lucy. If you notice the two versions of stage three, just ignore it, I am a new mother and I’m too exhausted to redo the video title shots. Click on the video to play. Hope you enjoy!

1 Month

This entire post is inspired by the blog Dooce.com. The writer of that blog, Heather Armstrong, writes monthly newsletters to her 2 year old daughter. These monthly newsletters were so inspiring to me throughout my pregnancy and this first month, so I’ve decided to write monthly letters to my little bean. Hopefully, when she has the ability to search the Internet (and looking at her father, this may be in a year or two) she can read these posts and see how much she is loved and how fantastic she is. Also, she may find her mother is a bit of a pottymouth, which should be endearing.

Dear Lucy,

Today you turn one month old. I cannot freaking believe it! We made it through ONE WHOLE MONTH without any major injuries. It just seems insane to me that you are my child. Every day I wake up wondering when the government is going to come pick you up and take you away, as I obviously can’t handle the responsibility of being a mother. But they never do, so I must be doing OK.

This month has been full of new experiences for us. The first time you looked at me and actually saw me, instead of just seeing a big blur, was the most life changing moment. Your eyes locked with mine and you held my gaze with your big blue eyes. You had a look on your face like “Ah, so this is the woman I’ve heard so much about. I thought you’d be taller in real life.”

You’ve been through alot this month. First, of course, being born, which was traumatic for us all. But in the end, it was wonderful. You’ve finally stopped only sleeping on things with heartbeats and sleeping in your crib or bassinet. Granted, you’ve got to be wrapped up like a burrito and placed in a baby positioning thing, but at least you’re sleeping. Once you started sleeping more normally, you also started smiling more regularly. You’ve got quite a grin on you, kid. We are in so much trouble.

I can’t wait to see what the next months and years will bring. Hopefully, more sleep for both of us and no prison terms. I want to make it perfectly clear early on that if you get arrested EVER (hopefully not for a few more years yet) you will be spending the night in jail and/or paying your own legal fees with your babysitting money. Understood?!

Lucy, I love you more than I ever thought I could love anything. You’ve changed my life in ways I never imagined possible. You made me a mother. Something I wasn’t sure I would be able to handle, but it’s so natural with you. Lulu, you are the greatest thing in the world, and I’m going to make sure that every day you know that.

Love, Mama

Pool Babe

Whilst laying out at the pool, little Lucy was accosted by paparazzi. Instead of flipping them off as per usual, she decided to kill them with kindness.

Then she told them to fuck off.

Sleep Deprivation

Everyone knows parents of new babies don’t get much sleep. You can spot new parents a mile away from the bags under their eyes and the lost look on their faces. Go to any Target at 9 p.m. and you’ll see the new parents swaying back and forth in the checkout line.

Our experience with baby sleep has been pretty typical. Lucy thinks daytime is nighttime and nighttime is daytime. From about 7 p.m. to 3 in the morning she screams for pretty much no reason. If she’s not screaming, then she’s grunting and squirming and writhing with the painful look of a person who is being tortured by terrorists. If you were just looking at her face and not the rest of her body, you’d think we were slowing cutting off all of her cute little toes. Oh, the screaming, the screaming!

The other problem is that Lucy does not like to sleep on anything that does not have a heartbeat. She absolutely despises the crib, bassinet and pack-n-play. Sometimes we can get her to dose off in the swing for about 20 minutes, but that’s about it. She’ll fall asleep nursing and then the second you set her down she awakes as if to say, “Um, excuse me, I need to be held. PLEASE! NOW!” And then the screaming commenses.

Last night we decided to take real action. And after a midnight phone conversation with my sister, who puts all of my problems in perspective because she experienced them too, except times THREE, Lucy finally slept. In her crib. For almost FOUR HOURS! Yes, it may be a fluke. But right now she is napping in her bassinet and I actually have time to write on this site. So let’s hope it is a fluke that will last longer than a day.

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