New Addition
I’d like to introduce Raquelle Talbot, shown here with big brother Collin.
Congrats to Inger, Brett and the whole family!
Wonderful Life
Hello fellow Crazy Bananas readers. This is the Bearded Wonder (AKA Trent) taking over for a post. Though I’m not quite as funny or witty as the author of this blog, I do have an important announcement to make. As most of you know, I impregnated my beautiful girlfriend approximately 7 weeks ago 2 days ago. What a magnificent life changing event this is and I thank you for all you support given so far, and in advance for all the times to come. I wanted to be the first to post a picture of our newly created life on the internet.
How cool is that? You could hear a little heart beating during the sonogram. During which I experienced some unfamiliar emotion for the first time that must be something only a father experiences.
However, a post on CB dot com wouldn’t be complete without something funny, View image (<--- Click Here for the Internet Challenged)
In your eyes…
The boy bought me flowers. He’s a nice boy. I think I’ll keep him.
I just had to post this to show how much of an attention whore the dog is. “Can I be in the picture? Please? I won’t eat a tampon for a month! I promise!”
He also cleaned the ENTIRE HOUSE! It is rare that you can actually see the top of this table. I figure nothing’s real until you share it with all of your closest friends on the Internet. So here it is, Internet! The top of my coffee table. Trent is hereby considered the Best Boyfriend with a Beard in the Kansas City metro area! And possibly, all of the KCTV 5 broadcast region!
My apologies.
The shitty thing about a brand-spanking new job is when it’s amazing and awsome and fun and you get good vibes from all your co-workers and you actually enjoyed going to work you no longer have anything funny to tell all of your closest friends on the Internet. I’m sorry Internet. I wish I could say that my new job made me want to vomit all over my desk and call the Suicide hotline, but it doesn’t. I was officially home at 5:15 without the ever-present urges to poke my eyes out with a dull, unsharpened pencil. Gee, I’ll miss the misery.
Actually, I WILL NOT FUCKING MISS THE MISERY! I’M FREE AT LAST! HOLY HELL!
OK, I’ve now taken a shot of whiskey and calmed myself a bit. As mentioned above, the new job is the absolute SHIT! Though I’ve never been more tired in my life thanks to Mr. Tom Petty, The Heartbreakers and the evil Verizon Amphetheatre Parking bonanza, I was up a bit later than usual. Some people may say it was irresponsible for me to go to a concert where just entering the venue implies an immediate contact high. To those people I’d like to say, kiss my dog’s hairy ass. Let’s just leave it at that.
If you’ve ever wanted to know what massive amounts of blond hair does at high velocities…
Jeeps. Fun, but bring a hat.
Memorial Day Weekend
I’m back and rehydrated! There are several stories to tell about this weekend. I honestly don’t know quite where to start. There was the family member aquiring ANOTHER DUI, the wedding preparations where I learned I am to be walking down the aisle with a wizard (yes, a wizard!), my mother returning from her ‘summer home’ in Florida (hide the chicken nuggets everyone, save yourselves) and of course drunken debauchery of every kind.
For what may be the first time in the history of trips to Manhattan, Trent and I actually hung out all weekend. Our friends Abbie and Luke (Hi guys!) moved into their new digs, and were both living with a member of the opposite sex for the first time. You can see why they would want Trent and I around, being the ideal example of cohabitating bliss, to teach them the ways to coexist in a world where one can never really escape the other. They did well though. Actually, no major tiffs to report.
Although Trent, love him as I do, showed his true colors in several instances. Now I think I understand why he doesn’t want me around when he’s with his friends. Not that he was mean or ugly to me. He was just. Very. Strange.
Exhibit #1
Trent decides it would be a good idea to get in his skivies and pose like a porn star on Abbie and Luke’s ginormous bed. All humans with penises thought this to be FUCKING HILARIOUS! All females ran to the bathroom in order to avoid vomiting in public.
Exhibit #2
Polish Horseshoes. Game in which guys throw frisbees at each other in attempting to knock a beer bottle off a tiki torch. Basically, an excuse to break bottles and yell at each other. I couldn’t believe how long this amused the guys. Hours. Seriously. Oh well, at least they weren’t fighting each other.
Exhibit #3
Abbie insists (although we have been eating at the BBQ ALL FUCKING DAY) that we order a large cheesebread and pizza upon our return home from the bars. Then she and I lay down for a bit. Then Trent and Luke ate 100 tons of pizza by themselves. Abbie was understandably pissed. You can’t separate that girl from her cheesebread. We should really get her into rehab or something.
For more interesting shots from this weekend, click here. For pictures of the amazing progress made on Trent’s parents new addition, click here.
And as for the cat story, apparently Trent’s brother once tried to microwave his (Trent’s cat), so Trent, his mom and his sister decided to get some revenge. Below is Scott’s cat, Frisky, paying for Scott’s evil ways.
