– Not being picked up
– The dog walking next to her
– Me not letting her watch “Memo!!!” (Finding Nemo)
– Not being able to play on Mommy’s computer
– Breathing
– Being hungry
– Not being hungry and not wanting to eat
– An old price tag from a toy being in the trash
– The wind
– Not being able to simultaneously sit on the couch and stand on the floor
– Being unable to tie her shoes
Today was the first day of my week-long mama vacation. I decided to take a week off between leaving the old job and starting the new one, just to get some long-term items off my to-do list. These include visit the dentist, bitch out my chiropractor for the bill they sent that is completely ridiculous, get a haircut, get new glasses and finally see the movie Juno. In truth, all I really wanted to do was have a nice lunch by myself. With no one. Alone.
So when Trent headed out the door with Lucy this morning and the house was quiet, I thought, “I can’t believe this.” I spoke too soon. Timeline of the day is as follows:
7:30 a.m. – Trent leaves to go to work and take Lu to daycare. Yes, she’s still going to daycare this week, as we pay for it regardless and it would be too hard to keep all of these appointments with her in tow. And I’m selfish.
8:00 a.m. – Trent returns with Lu. Daycare provider has the flu. Day goes to shit. Slowly.
8:30 a.m. – As I feed Lucy a belated breakfast of hotdogs and pineapple, my old job calls. Big emergency. Would I mind coming in for extra pay?
8:35 a.m. – Get email from Trent on state of finances. Say “SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!” and pack up for work.
8:45 a.m. – Load Lu into the car and head downtown.
9:15 a.m. – Start work with kid crap everywhere. People keep saying, “Wasn’t your last day Friday?” Yes. Yes it was.
9:30 a.m. – Bust out the iPod.
10:00 a.m. – Plan escape route.
12:00 p.m. – Finally leave and head home.
1 to 3 p.m. – Lu refuses to nap. I plan another escape. Watch this.
Appointments kept – 0
Bills completed – 0
Pipes burst in the basement – 1
Naps taken – 0
Movies watched – 0
Glasses ordered – 0
Imagined martinis drank – 10
So, I meant to write a HUGE, GINORMOUS post by today. I really did. It was going to have beautiful photos and illustrations and unicorns and rainbows would come out of your computer screen and you’d hear angels singing and the snozzberries would taste like snozzberries…but I digress. Instead, I spent most of my evening and night and early morning with my baby girl who has a cough so bad that it makes her puke. Seriously. I might add that this is another thing I wasn’t warned about in child care class. Can I have a refund?
Last night around 6:30 Lu was sitting in a pile of all of her toys right next to our dining room table when she started hacking uncontrollably (as she has been for a day or two). All of a sudden, the hacking turned to hiccuping, turned to gagging turned to puke all over the freaking place. This senario repeated several times throughout the night.
So after lots of clothes washing and sheet changing and cleaning the puke out of my hair, I had to get up and go to work early so I can leave early enough for Trent to get into work. And my normal work day starts at 6 a.m., so you can imagine how early “early” is for me. I’m sure you can also imagine how crabby I am, as I am normally a crab, but lack of sleep adds about a million on my crab-o-meter.
Long story short, no big ole’ post today. But in my sleep deprivited state, this post made me laugh for about 10 minutes straight. An exerpt:
So I swing the door open, grab her before she has a chance to get away, and then walk back into the living room where Leta is still crying and Jon is actively acquiring more Star Bits. And I’m standing there with my parts peeking out the front of this giant coat, a snow-covered puppy wriggling violently in my arms, her poop-scented tongue licking my forehead. Sometimes life is such that it’s too much to ask for them all to sit still so that I can take ten seconds and put on a pair of panties.
Hello, Ikea. Have you missed me? I miss you greatly. I miss your very high ceilings and your play area for kids. I miss your extremely low prices. I miss this bedding. And this chair. And these plates. And all this stuff that would be perfect in Lucy’s room. I wish you would move closer. Then I could throw a dinner party for under $200. Which would be nice, as I am very poor. Have I mentioned that, Ikea? Maybe it would be some sort of tax deduction if you moved here. You should check that out.
Your loyal admirer,
Megan
P.S. If you refuse to move here, the least you could do is beef up your online store. Unless you want me to live with my husband’s shitty dresser he’s had since sixth grade and my bed on blocks until I’m 30. Which is just plain mean.
P.P.S You’re coming to West Chester, Ohio and not here!!!!??? Damn you, Ikea. Daaaaammmnnn yooooouuuu!
This has been quite the year for me. A new job. Growing into a not-so-new mom. A new family business.
And during all of these changes, during the ups and downs, I’ve always shared most everything on this website. Photos and stories and lots of grumples. You all have been a wonderful support system, and I love that every day I get to talk to all of you, no matter how far away you are or how insane I may be.
Well, today I’m starting a fast. Most bloggers spent the last month NaBloPo‘ing all over the place, where as I’ve always posted pretty much every day. The only time I’ve really taken a break was that 2 weeks when I had a baby and then cried a whole lot because EVERYTHING HURT!!! So, for the first time in a long, long time, I’m going to abstain from posting on this site.
Already it’s hard, as today is Lu’s 18 month birthday and I really, really want to write her a letter, but no. I can’t. Not today. I need to make myself step away. If not for my sanity, then for those around me.
Don’t worry, I’ll be back. I just need some time to remember why I like doing this in the first place and get inspired. I always said I wouldn’t write unless it was fun, and lately, it hasn’t been. This has started to show in my posts, and I am just not the kind of person that can half-ass anything. If it’s not going to be great, I don’t want to do it at all.
So while I’m gone, you should go check out this site. Or this one. Or this one. Or this one. They update almost daily, so you should get your fill. Miss me lots, and if you really want me to come back, I’d recommend clicking on the ads to the right. It’s always easier to come back to something when you have some incentive…especially the monetary kind.
