Kevin Federline Would Be So Jealous

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This weekend, while testosterone took over my house in the form of a bachelor party, I decided to go to my sister’s neighborhood pool to show off my fabulous, new mom-suit. I haven’t worn a one-piece swimsuit since I was about 12, and now I can remember why I hate them so much. Not only is it a pain in the ass to yank that thing up and down every time I have to pee, my extra-long torso makes it so the suit is constantly sneaking up my butt. There is a reason I am known as a expert in granny-panties, so the suit up the butt was NOT my idea of sexy or comfortable.

The other purpose of the trip was to take Lucy swimming for the first time. Turns out she’s quite the little fish (for a 10-week-old) and she absolutely loved the water. We have a ton of cutie pics from the day, but I have only uploaded the ones my sister sent to me. I think the best part is checking out my beautiful, fabulous niece. My sister and her family just returned from their summer vacation in Myrtle Beach, where Sloan decided to get her hair braided a la Snoop Dogg.

Lucy at the pool 005.jpg

Scary. But hot.

Killing me or Taking one for the team

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“I just don’t understand.”

“What?”

“I mean, how could anyone be so mean? How could she try to steal that woman’s fiance?”

“It’s a movie, she’s not real.”

“I know, but still. Why would anyone watch this? I guess they just like her…”

“Julia Roberts is likable. Plus, it’s just a movie.”

“I KNOW THAT.”

“OK, then it’s not a big deal.”

“Well, I think you should let Lucy sleep on her stomach.”

“What does that have to do with this movie?”

“I’m just saying. You know her head’s going to be flat. And your back probably hurts because of that epidural.”

“No, I think my back hurts because I just gave birth and now I’m carrying around a 11 pound baby everywhere I go. Plus, the epidural was worth it.”

“I think you would’ve been fine, it just slowed down your labor. And you shouldn’t swaddle her. She’s too big for that now.”

“Yes, mother.”

Road Trip

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This past weekend we packed up the car, loaded the dog and the baby, and headed off for our first family road trip. Guess where? Manhattan, of course. We went back for my friend Abbie’s bachelorette party, so I could surprise the bride to be. I’d say the surprise worked, especially when she came running up to my car screaming while I was breastfeeding under what then became known as the breastfeeding tree.

That’s how things come around full circle. I used to get drunk and fall asleep next to trees, now I can be found breastfeeding underneath them…

Reminders of Another Era

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This weekend I began the tedious task of uploading all of my backlogged photos to Flickr. My dear old Macaroni is pretty much in the pooper, and it wouldn’t let me export files to any outside drive. So, as a compromise, I decided to upload the files to Flickr. That’s what I call a diplomatic solution!

Anyway, that is why my Flickr account is all eff’d up and out of order. No, I did not go out drinking last weekend, those are photos from a few years ago.

Old Farts

Check out the lack of belly! Oh, how I miss the lack of belly…

Also, some newly uploaded photos of my damn sister’s freaking adorable children.

Sloan

Dylan

Tyler and Sloan

Now the question is, will they use their powers for good or evil?

Happy Late B-day!

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To the bestest sister in the world!

Sisters.jpg

My sister has become my absolute rock. This year, not only did she continue to be the most supportive, helpful person she always has been, she gave me love and that extra push when I needed it the most. Besides all of the material things (the washer, the dryer, all of that baby stuff, my wedding dress, my wedding flowers, all of the other wedding extras) she continues to give me love and support, and she wants me to be the best person I can be. But she never looks down on me when I’m not. She’s always proud of me, even when I’m not so proud of myself. Even when I feel like I’m going to be the worst mom or wife, she makes me feel like I could actually be as good at it as she is. When I look at her kids and her family, I know exactly what I want out of my life. I want my kids to look at me the way hers look at her.

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