Life Lately : In Photos
“Be present in all things and thankful for all things.” – Maya Angelou
In Anticipation of Summer : A Work at Home Mom Dilemma
Can you guys believe it’s almost summer?! Me either. My preschooler has already ended his school year, and my third grader is done in two days! Ack. The summer months have become a little more challenging now that I’m a work-at-home mom. When I was in an office full-time, I used to lament the fact that my kids never really got a “summer.” I mean, sure, it was hot outside, but they still had to get up early and head off to daycare or camp in the morning. Actually, most of the time, summer felt just like the rest of the year. One of the things I looked forward to the most when I started my freelance life was getting to spend the summers with my kids. It’s so nice being able to let them sleep in a bit and not be so rush-rush.
However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t challenges. I still have to work, but in the summer my childcare is seriously limited. I don’t exactly need full-time childcare, but part-time care is expensive and difficult to schedule. I have spent the last three months trying to find a summer babysitter that would be able to work part-time, but had several girls back out because they wanted or needed more hours. Which I totally understand, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating! Luckily, we have found someone awesome who will be helping us out this summer with the kids, but since she doesn’t start until June, I’m basically working around my kids for the next few weeks.
I think this is a challenge we all face, whether we are work-at-home moms, stay-at-home moms, or moms who work outside of the home. It’s easy to assume the other side has it easier, but in reality, we are all dealing with frustration, messy schedules and missed opportunities. When I worked in a corporate setting (which I did for most of my career as a parent), I would be so jealous of the moms that worked from home and got to spend more time with their kids. Now that I’m working from home with a flexible schedule, I miss the continuity and availability of full-time daycare. I hate putting the kids in front of the TV so I can take a conference call or having to turn down work opportunities because I can’t find child care. In fact, I’m writing this post from inside a local play place where I’m sitting on the floor in the corner while my son runs around to burn off some energy. It’s not exactly the most inspiring place to create!
But the trade offs will always exist, no matter what parenting path you choose. There aren’t any easy answers, and there are sacrifices regardless, so I try to focus on gratitude and the positives. I get to spend the summer with my kids. I get to work and create art. I get to be there on all fronts. I get to continue to grow, through different challenges and obstacles. And most of all, I get to choose. That is a complete luxery. When I worked in my corporate job, I didn’t love what I did for a living. I was unfulfilled and uninspired. The work was good, the people were great, but I wasn’t doing what I was born to do.
These days, I love what I’m doing. Is it perfect? No. Not at all. It can be frustrating, scary and stressful at times. There are days when I want to give up and just be at home with my kids, with no client obligations. There are days when I want to go back to an office full-time. But most days, even when it’s hard, I know I’m in the best possible situation for myself and my family’s unique chemistry. And now, with long summer days looming ahead, I know I am making the right choice for me. Am I doing it all? Hardly. But I’m doing my best, and that’s got to count for something.
Lulu as Leia
Being the family full of nerds that we are (and proud!) a few weeks back we had to celebrate Star Wars Day (May the 4th). However, the day arrived and both of my kids were not super excited about participating in any of the fun! After a little coercion and the promise that I could make Lucy look like she was holding a real light saber, she decided to play along with her dorky mom and we took a couple of photos of her as Princess Leia. You might remember a few years back when the kids dressed up as Leia and Yoda for Halloween (greatest costumes EVER). Well, we re-purposed a now very small Princess Leia costume for this little shoot. You might notice I don’t show Lulu’s feet…well, that’s because in the past few years she’s grown about a foot and the dress that was once on the ground now stops at her knees!
I’ve been working a lot on my craft and on developing some more artistic photo sessions, and Lulu has become my biggest inspiration. She’s almost always up for fun ideas, and she loves watching me take a mundane set up and make magic with different angles and post production. This session was done in an empty lot behind a gas station, as a big storm started to roll in. We were on our way home from swim lessons, and we just pulled over and ran out in to the small field. Right out of frame is a busy intersection and a line of retail stores. Turns out you can find a little magic just about anywhere!
(Click here for another magical photo in this series of shoots inspired by my creative, daring daughter, Lulu.)
To the Mamas Behind the Camera
The other day I taught my very first photography workshop to a group of lovely mothers, who were so welcoming and engaged, it made the whole experience extremely awesome. To say I was nervous would be the greatest understatement of all time, so I was extremely grateful these ladies and their warm smiles were amongst the first I was able to teach. I didn’t snap any photos of the class (due to the aforementioned nervousness clouding my normally forward-thinking brain!), but I wanted to share a bit of what I talked about, especially in regards to being the mama behind the lens.
Mamas, you don’t need an expensive camera or a plethora of lenses to take beautiful pictures of your children. You don’t need advanced photo editing software or model children. I think way too many of us get caught up in getting the perfect image or having the best gear, and we forget that what we’re trying to do is capture a moment. Sometimes that moment needs a little coaching, but often, especially with my own kids, it mostly involves patience.
We are raising a generation of children who have grown up with a camera in their faces. Sometimes this makes capturing a genuine image difficult, because they are trained to cheese it out whenever they see a phone or camera pointed their direction. My own kids have the opposite issue…when they see me coming, they automatically make crazy, cross-eyed faces and refuse to look at me. So I have somewhat perfected the art of sneaking up on the kids as they play and capturing them from afar. I also spend a lot of time in the dirt. Most of the time you’ll find me laying down in the grass or on the sidewalk with my camera in hand, shooting slightly up (not too drastic, or you’ll end up shooting the inside of a kid’s nose!). Shooting at the kids’ level gives images a whole new feel and they are often the ones I like the best, because they really capture what childhood looks like. I also like to find little moments that remind me of my kids, but don’t necessary include them. I take images of their toys in the garden or their shoes by the door, which will be amazing keepsakes and help me tell the story of their childhood.
Most importantly…mamas, we must get in the picture. A few years ago I looked back at the photo books I’d made throughout the years and noticed one glaring omission…ME! There were pages and pages of beautiful images of my children and husband, but I was like a ghost. By controlling the camera and always being the one behind the lens, I had removed myself from my family’s photos. When my children looked through photo books, they’d remark on all the fun we’d had, and then they’d ask, “Where were you, mama?” That wasn’t okay with me, and I started immediately finding ways to ensure I would be a part of the documentation of their lives in a more present way.
Listen, I know “selfies” are supposedly narcissistic, but sometimes a selfie is the only way I’m going to be included in the images of my kids’ childhoods. I’m pro-selfie, for sure, and I refuse to apologize for it! Take those selfies, mamas! If you have someone else close by, hand over your camera. Ask a grandparent, husband or friend to snap an image of you with your kids. It’s okay if it’s not perfect…life is rarely perfect! But you’ll want your kids to look back at the photos of their childhood and see you there. And if you are able, get your photos taken by a professional photographer every year. Yes, it’s an expense, but it will be worth it. Until a few years ago, I assumed because I was a photographer myself, and I take tons of wonderful images of my family, I didn’t need to pay to get my photos taken by someone else. I was so wrong. SO, SO WRONG. These days I ALWAYS hire someone to take our photos once a year. Because for me, it’s important to be on the other side of the lens, and just BE with my family. As a mom, it’s good for me to take some direction and let someone else be in charge for a bit. And I love (LOVE) when I get images back and find that the photographer has captured my family together in all of it’s silly beauty. I’m more than willing to cut back on my daily latte or other expenses in order to have those images as my kids grow up. Because I want to look back at these photos and not only watch my kids grow up, but see MYSELF grow into the mother I will become.
The images in this post were taken with my Canon DSLR and my iPhone (can you guess which is which?), except the last two images, which were taken by Nicole Coleman of Petit Soul Photography and Christina Gepner of Soul Studios.
Reading is Magic
These past few weeks have been so wonderful. I am overwhelmed with the opportunities I’ve been given…teaching workshops, traveling to New York City, beautiful photo sessions with families and individuals…I am so grateful! I am, however, totally exhausted. Between all the amazing things happening in my career and the end of the school year for my kids, I am running a low tank! So last week, when we had an unexpected cancellation, my kids and I decided to do a fun project together. My daughter is an avid reader (that’s putting it lightly!) and so we wanted to create an image where the magic of reading was really showcased. We worked together to find a location (my neighbor’s backyard), we set up the shot, and then we edited together in Photoshop. Here is the original RAW file next to the final product…
I’m not usually a huge Photoshopper…but it was cool to make something a little bit different from my regular style. It was so fun for my daughter to see how I do my work, and she was really pleased with the final image. I think this summer we are going to create a few more magical images based on some of her own ideas. She has big dreams, and it’s pretty fun turning them into a reality! Not only was she thrilled, but my creative muscles got a little bit of a workout as well. Magic.
