Further Humiliation (Attention)

You think I like the attention, huh? Or else why would I continuously beat the dead horse that is my time spent at Space Camp. But no, I just keep writing about it. I first mentioned it here. Then here. And now…

Space Camp

Did I mention I was kind of slutty at Space Camp? Wheeeee!


Space Camp

You can tell I’m very upset the rest of my group did not inform me that we were all wearing our flight jackets that day. Seriously, dude, don’t even look at me! I’m hideous without my flight jacket!

Space Camp

Where do you go for awkward, sweaty hand-holding at Space Camp. A replica of the Apollo pod, of course! And boy, do we look pissed we were interrupted.

Photoshop Hell

What happens when people at your work read your blog? People who have access to Photoshop? People hell bent on complete humiliation?

Space Camp

I may have not mentioned…

When I entered Manhattan High School in 1998, I was a dork. A full blown, space camp-attending, buck-toothed, glasses-wearing, social pariah. I had spent the past 8 years at a private, Catholic school, with only about 15 to 20 people in my entire grade, as opposed to the 200 average at the local public schools. So I only knew 15 or 20 people out of about 400 that were in my freshman class at this new school, and most of them thought I was (as I’ve previously mentioned) a huge dork. I probably had about 3 friends to my name.

But this lack of friends actually turned out to be a big positive in my adolescent life. Because I didn’t have a lot of friends coming into high school, it was easier for me to make friends in all different cliques and groups. I was pretty good at sports, so I had my jock friends. I was nerdy, so I had some nerdy friends. I was into music and goofying off, so I had my hilarious, class-clown friends. And I was (secretly) into acting and the drama department, so I had my drama class friends.

My drama class was set straight out of a John Hughes movie. Very Breakfast Club. There was a nerd, a jock, a couple of goths, a debater, a hippie and a kid who just couldn’t stay out of trouble. And me.

Our teacher was this tree-hugging, happy, insane woman who just wanted us to loooooove the theatre. Many days I felt bad for her, since many of the people in this class just took it because they knew everyone got an A and it would be, basically, a free hour. But she always tried to get us involved, and gave us strange assignments that were supposed to make us less insecure, therefore, better actors.

One of these assignments was to lip sync to a song, any song, and do a complete performance as the singer you were impersonating. We were graded on this. And, to top it all off, we were going to have to perform it in front of the entire freshman class.

You could see how this would terrify someone who had 3 friends in the whole school and was hoping to make a few more, not lose the 3 and become a legend of embarrasment for the next four years.

There was a girl in my class named Rebecca. Rebecca (not Becky, never call her Becky!) had just moved to Kansas from New York and was much more educated in the ways of the world. She wanted to be a movie director and felt that Kansas was stifling her. We were put in a group together. Along with a red-headed class-clown, a gansta’ (yes, gansta’) girl and a hippie.

What group did we end up impersonating? What did we decide to perform in front of the whole school? The Beatles? The Jimi Hendrix Experience? Metallica?

Nope, the Spice Girls. I was Sporty Spice. I attempted to do a flip on stage. I fell on my ass. We got a standing ovation. And I made a couple hundred friends.

OK, maybe not a couple hundred, but at least people knew who I was now.

Rebecca and I continued to be quite the odd couple throughout high school. We were never “best” friends, but we always tried to take classes together. Sometimes we even sat together at lunch, horrifying our respective cliques. She was Hermia and I was Helena in our class production of a Midsummer Night’s Dream. We had to create a giant tree out of contruction paper for the set and I forgot my lines and instead shouted, “Lysander….go away!” during a very important scene. I also had to dress up as a cheerleader (our “creative” teacher decided it would be Midsummer Night’s Dream set in a high school) and Rebecca let me know when the audience could see up my dress. That’s what I call a good friend.

We tried to hang out throughout high school, but, of course, we grew apart. We took spanish together for a few years, to the shagrin of our teachers. We created a movie highlighting the Easter Rising for AP History where we videotaped a TV set playing a movie starring Liam Niesen. I was credited as playing the British army. We went to the state history fair and placed.

Then we went to college. She moved back to New York and I never really talked to her again. I emailed her on 9/11 to make sure she was OK. She told me about some of the horrible things she saw. Eventually she stopped using that email account and we lost touch.

But I thought of her today. When I read this. Maybe it’s time for a reunion of our own. I may not be able to do a back flip anymore, but really, I never really could anyway.

Spice Girls Reunite!

Steve & Allison’s Wedding, Debauchery Addition

So, where are all of the outakes from the wedding? All of the party pics?

Why, here, of course! In their uncensored, un-Photoshopped glory!

Event #1: Cocktail Hour

Us
What a cute couple!

Brothers
Wait, something’s different about this one….

Kissing
OK, this is getting out of hand! We’re not in Arkansas, boys!

Grabby Hands
What’s a wedding party without inappropriate sibling chest grabbing?

Geez
And then the siblings thought their significant others (and Alan, Steve’s brother) felt left out. Poor us. Wait, they have an idea! Let’s take a picture where we all hop on each other’s backs! It will be so awesome! Or not. I’m going with not.

Ladle
Then it’s time to go home and eat some chicken salad with a ladle. Because that’s how we roll.

Event #2: The Wedding

Screaming
“I want chicken salad! I want a ladle! I want to dominate the world! Damn the man, save the Empire!”

Event #3: Baby is with the Grandparents, So Let’s Break it Down!
Lee Sings
Eeevery rose has it’s thorn. Just like eeevery night, has it’s daaaa-aaawn. Just like eeevery cowboy, sings a sad sad song. Eeevery rose, has it’s thooorrn.”

Trent Dances
Trent busts a move, and almost busts his ass.

Dancing Continued
They’re break-dance fighting. Practicing to be future contestants on “So You Think You Can Dance.”

Parents
It’s, like, 11 o’clock! Party animals! Now, where is my bed?

Duet
A rousing rendition of “I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tiffany.

Mamas
“I think we’re alone now, there doesn’t seem to be anyone ah-rou-ound.”

In-Laws
Drunk enough to take a photo together, not so drunk that we both can’t look just a little awkward about it.

Hairy
At the Scott Peters Center For Children Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there’s more to life than being really, really good looking.

Thanks to Erin for all of the great shots!
Erin and Scott

Most Likely to Become a Raging Alcoholic

While in Manhattan this weekend for Trent’s sister’s wedding, I stopped by my parents house and decided to finally take some of my old crap off of their hands. I came home with a trunk full of old yearbooks and other random memorabilia from my angst-filled teenage years. I was looking through my yearbook from senior year and thought I’d share some of the thoughts of the Class of 2000:

Small sidenote, I graduated from high school a year early, so most of my friends were staying behind for another year*

“I hate you, good luck” – Chris M.

“I don’t know you too well, but you seem pretty dam cool to me from what I know.” – Jennifer W.

“I’ll never forget the week we spent in Fiji, sleeping under the stars, dancing under the moonlight. Your supple…feet, your sensuous…knees, your big milky…khaki pants. Good luck, you’re OK (for a blond).” – Will Z.

“It’s always fun arguing with you. You’re hot too.” – Adam A.

“Sux to miss the senior year. I guess you want to though. Have fun and don’t flunk out of college too fast. Always remember the SWEET GREEN SHEEBA.” – Josh H.

“Sorry for erasing all of your typing in Furguson’s class in 10th grade.” – Michael W.

“Meghan – Wassup, man?! You and me dude, we are so there in Lawrence next year. 4-20 RULES!” – Inger L.

“Here’s a coupon for ya, gain a little weight [Little Ceasar’s coupon attached]” – Kym

“I know it will be difficult not having a Gabe Holcombe at your school next year, but be sure to track down my illegitimate brother Dave Holbumbe at KU (he’s almost as cool as I am). Also, be sure to write ‘Gabe wuz here’ all over Lawrence despite the fact that your name is Megan Spooner, not Gabe. P.S. GABE WUZ HERE.” – Gabe H.

“Have fun not being in high school next year (you stupid butt monkey) and be sure to lip synch to “Wannabe” [by the Spice Girls] at least once a year.” – Rebecca A.

Now you can obviously see how super-cool I was in high school. I mean, ‘remember the sweet green sheeba’? ‘4-20 Rules’? You’d think I was the school pothead. Too bad I was mostly just innocent and people thought leaving quotes like that would make me run to the principal and tattle.

See, super-cool. Obviously.

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