Archive for category: Blond

Current contents of my purse:

– Wallet, filled with receipts dating back to 2006

– One blue pen with no lid

– Handful of loose change

– Two packages of nasal decongestant, one red, one yellow

– Two reusable grocery bags (like these ones)

– Opened, empty container of orange Tic-Tacs

– Various scattered Tic-Tacs, from aforementioned container

– 4 tampons

– Powder, lip gloss, unattractive bright pink lipstick, lip liner

– One diaper

– One Christmas Card with a Barns and Noble gift certificate

– One Houlihan’s gift certificate

– One brand new pair of striped baby socks from the Gap

– One video iPod and one shitty cell phone

– One firewire cable

– My keys

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” – Herm Albright

“I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I’d think, no, actually I’m a giraffe.” – Richard Gere

“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.” – Mae West

“There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.” – Salvador Dali

“If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough” – Mario Andretti

“The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.” – Katharine Whitehorn

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” – George Burns