Inappropriate My Left Breast!

Me: I’m starting to freak out a bit because my insurance runs out next Tuesday. Birth control is going to be double what it is now.

Mikayla: You should go to planned parenthood. It’s so cheap there, and you don’t even have to get a PAP.

Me: Seriously? I haven’t been to government sponsored doctors since high school. It kinda weirds me out.

Mikayla: I have an extra one if you want it just for this month.

Me: Thanks, that sounds great. I just hate going for that kind of doctor appointment.

Mikayla: But, really! You don’t have to get a PAP! Just a short examination. It’s great.

Please note during this entire conversation Trent and Heath were sitting uncomfortably in their seats, and didn’t say a word. I can’t imagine why! I mean, we were just sitting in a very public place drinking beers and talking about different forms of birth control! Doesn’t everyone do that?

What the FUCK!

This weekend…in the upper 90s. Very. Hot. Made Megan. Very pissy.

Today…the lower 60s to 50s. Rainy. Cold.

What the hell is going on!?!?!?

I am just going to believe the weather change is what caused my sand volleyball team to be mutilated by a team of Harley riders with beards that were twice the size of my boyfriend’s beard. We were totally out-bearded. They had goatees that were red and furious. Trent was even out-reded by a beard. I suggest all team members grow beards (or wear fake-beards, just as intimidating) for our final games to ensure that even when we lose by an embarrassing number of points, we will never again be out-bearded.

Thus said the Lord.

Happy Birthday to you and you and you!

Back before they could say, “Aunt Megan, you’re 22! That’s REALLY OLD. Are you older than Grandma?”

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