This is a continuation of my post last week on my 2018 goals and plans…you can read part one by clicking here.
While there are tons of things I could’ve focused on for 2018, taking stock of and working on creating more connection and friendship in my life was at the top of my list. Why? Well, there are multiple reasons, but the main one is that I am lonely. Ugh, that’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s true. I feel a real lack of connection in my daily life, especially with other women, and that’s something that I’d like to change. Honestly, it’s something I’ve wanted to change FOREVER, but I just haven’t had the guts to really do anything about it.
I feel like I’m a fairly good friend, but as an outgoing introvert, I often find “friend activities” draining. This is especially true with new friends, where I don’t have a history or ease of communication. There are so many reasons excuses why I haven’t built the friend community that I’d like:
– I had kids when I was young, so I couldn’t relate to people my age
– I couldn’t relate to parents of my kids’ friends because I wasn’t their age and didn’t have their income, experience, etc.
– I don’t belong to a church, and many women I know grow their friend groups from their faith communities
– My husband is as much of an introvert as I am, so we often choose not to go out with other couples (usually one of us stays home to decompress), therefore we don’t have a lot of couples/family friends
– Our house isn’t great for hosting events or dinner parties, so we never invite people over
– As an introvert, I struggle to handle small talk or loud parties so I often choose to say in
– As a busy, working mom, I’m too exhausted to prioritize friendships
– I am embarrassed to ask people to do things together if we’re not already close friends…therefore it’s impossible to make new friends
– I’m a solo entrepreneur, so I don’t have co-workers to hang out with
– I don’t drink, but I often feel silly asking people to hang out for coffee or other activities when most people will get together for happy hours
– I don’t currently attend 12-step or recovery meetings, so I have a difficult time meeting people in recovery
Oh my god, you guys, the list could go on until the end of time. But what it breaks down to is our old friend (pun totally intended) FEAR. Fear of being vulnerable and being rejected. Fear of looking stupid. But mostly, fear of not being enough.
I’m so over being held back by fear! It’s so pointless and the only person it hurts is me. And lately I’ve been encouraged by stories from other women who have been going through the same thing with their own friendships. I know women who have left their faith communities, and found they lost most of their good friends. Others have been dealt a diagnosis or a divorce, and found their friend groups were lost in the shuffle. Others still have moved to new cities or changed jobs, and found themselves without their regular friend community. It’s not just me. It never is!
So in 2018 I’m committing to making friendship a priority in my life. My kids are older and don’t need me every second, my sobriety is solid and all the other excuses I’ve used in the past are just not enough to keep me on the sidelines anymore. I have no idea how I’m going to do it, but I feel like announcing my intentions in a blog post is a good first step! Here’s to a year of friends, connection and shared joy!
http://www.crazybananas.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/2018-01-15_0001.jpg533800Meganhttp://www.crazybananas.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Crazy_Banans_Logo_WebsiteBanner.pngMegan2018-01-16 12:14:312018-01-16 12:14:31Welcome 2018 Part 2 : Friendship Goals
Is anyone else THRILLED to say goodbye to 2017? I have to admit, while last year was full of wonderful, empowering moments for me (lobbying Congress on Capitol Hill, starting a new business and getting my first studio space, helping form a PAC that is hyper-focused on public education and local politics, hosting my first art show to benefit refugees, attending the Women’s March in D.C. to name a few) the overarching theme of the year seemed to be fear and overwhelm, and those are huge triggers for me. I am proud of how many of my friends and family found productive ways to make change and support causes that are important to them in the face of such fear, but all in all, I’m still happy to see 2017 go. Good riddance.
So far, 2018 has felt better, calmer and a bit more hopeful (thank you, Oprah). I have a plethora of goals for the new year in my advocacy and in my business, but I also really want to focus on a few personal goals. I think the biggest theme for this year is to try and live my life with more focus and intention. I know there are certain things that I use to numb out and “relax” that certainly aren’t serving me, and I want to do a better job of cutting those things out of my life. One that comes to mind is social media…how can something that has brought such joy and diversity to my world also be THE WORST THING EVER? When I use social media with intention, I find it to be an amazing tool of connection and creativity. But when I use it to numb out or fill dead time in my day, I feel a bit like I did when I used to drink…tired, depressed and sad. Not because of the content in my feed, necessarily, but because I’m missing out on so much in my real life while I scroll scroll scroll. I keep telling myself I “don’t have time” to do some of the things I really want to do, but when I actually sit down and look at the amount of time I’m spending on social media, I realize I DO have the time, I’m just not prioritizing how I use it.
So for this month (January), I’m doing my best to stay off social media. I can’t quit cold turkey, because I have businesses to run, but I’ve taken everything off my phone except Instagram, which you can’t use from a desktop. Instead, I have logged out of my Instagram account and am only actively logged in to the August Light Studio account. Every couple of days, I log back into my Crazy Bananas account to check direct messages, but I’m not posting, liking, commenting or scrolling. I’m also posting on the August Light and Crazy Bananas Facebook pages (since I don’t have to see my personal Facebook feed to post there, thanks Facebook!). So if you need to reach me, I suggest email as opposed to social media for the time being! Already I have found I have so much more time in the day, and I can do things like write this blog post, balance my budget, read the stack of magazines that’s been sitting by my bed for days and reach out to friends in a more personal way.
I plan on getting more into a few of my other goals for the year in-depth later this month, but the two that are my priorities at the moment are focusing on friendships and becoming a more sustainable shopper, with a goal of not buying any new clothing in 2017. These are both goals that probably deserve their own posts, but you can be sure they are (so far) equal parts challenging and awesome. I am feeling excited and happy about them, instead of dreading how I’m going to make it happen or if I can do it. I think that’s a good sign!
Do you have any 2018 that have you pumped up and ready to go? Let me know in the comments (and maybe not over on social media, since I’m not there at the moment…)!
http://www.crazybananas.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/2018-01-09_0002.jpg533800Meganhttp://www.crazybananas.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Crazy_Banans_Logo_WebsiteBanner.pngMegan2018-01-09 13:03:022018-01-09 13:03:02Welcome 2018 : Goals, Plans and Social Media
“Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.”
Welcome 2018 Part 2 : Friendship Goals
/11 Comments/in Happiness /by MeganThis is a continuation of my post last week on my 2018 goals and plans…you can read part one by clicking here.
While there are tons of things I could’ve focused on for 2018, taking stock of and working on creating more connection and friendship in my life was at the top of my list. Why? Well, there are multiple reasons, but the main one is that I am lonely. Ugh, that’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s true. I feel a real lack of connection in my daily life, especially with other women, and that’s something that I’d like to change. Honestly, it’s something I’ve wanted to change FOREVER, but I just haven’t had the guts to really do anything about it.
I feel like I’m a fairly good friend, but as an outgoing introvert, I often find “friend activities” draining. This is especially true with new friends, where I don’t have a history or ease of communication. There are so many
reasonsexcuses why I haven’t built the friend community that I’d like:– I had kids when I was young, so I couldn’t relate to people my age
– I couldn’t relate to parents of my kids’ friends because I wasn’t their age and didn’t have their income, experience, etc.
– I don’t belong to a church, and many women I know grow their friend groups from their faith communities
– My husband is as much of an introvert as I am, so we often choose not to go out with other couples (usually one of us stays home to decompress), therefore we don’t have a lot of couples/family friends
– Our house isn’t great for hosting events or dinner parties, so we never invite people over
– As an introvert, I struggle to handle small talk or loud parties so I often choose to say in
– As a busy, working mom, I’m too exhausted to prioritize friendships
– I am embarrassed to ask people to do things together if we’re not already close friends…therefore it’s impossible to make new friends
– I’m a solo entrepreneur, so I don’t have co-workers to hang out with
– I don’t drink, but I often feel silly asking people to hang out for coffee or other activities when most people will get together for happy hours
– I don’t currently attend 12-step or recovery meetings, so I have a difficult time meeting people in recovery
Oh my god, you guys, the list could go on until the end of time. But what it breaks down to is our old friend (pun totally intended) FEAR. Fear of being vulnerable and being rejected. Fear of looking stupid. But mostly, fear of not being enough.
I’m so over being held back by fear! It’s so pointless and the only person it hurts is me. And lately I’ve been encouraged by stories from other women who have been going through the same thing with their own friendships. I know women who have left their faith communities, and found they lost most of their good friends. Others have been dealt a diagnosis or a divorce, and found their friend groups were lost in the shuffle. Others still have moved to new cities or changed jobs, and found themselves without their regular friend community. It’s not just me. It never is!
So in 2018 I’m committing to making friendship a priority in my life. My kids are older and don’t need me every second, my sobriety is solid and all the other excuses I’ve used in the past are just not enough to keep me on the sidelines anymore. I have no idea how I’m going to do it, but I feel like announcing my intentions in a blog post is a good first step! Here’s to a year of friends, connection and shared joy!
Welcome 2018 : Goals, Plans and Social Media
/2 Comments/in Finding My Path, Happiness, Heath + Wellness /by MeganIs anyone else THRILLED to say goodbye to 2017? I have to admit, while last year was full of wonderful, empowering moments for me (lobbying Congress on Capitol Hill, starting a new business and getting my first studio space, helping form a PAC that is hyper-focused on public education and local politics, hosting my first art show to benefit refugees, attending the Women’s March in D.C. to name a few) the overarching theme of the year seemed to be fear and overwhelm, and those are huge triggers for me. I am proud of how many of my friends and family found productive ways to make change and support causes that are important to them in the face of such fear, but all in all, I’m still happy to see 2017 go. Good riddance.
So far, 2018 has felt better, calmer and a bit more hopeful (thank you, Oprah). I have a plethora of goals for the new year in my advocacy and in my business, but I also really want to focus on a few personal goals. I think the biggest theme for this year is to try and live my life with more focus and intention. I know there are certain things that I use to numb out and “relax” that certainly aren’t serving me, and I want to do a better job of cutting those things out of my life. One that comes to mind is social media…how can something that has brought such joy and diversity to my world also be THE WORST THING EVER? When I use social media with intention, I find it to be an amazing tool of connection and creativity. But when I use it to numb out or fill dead time in my day, I feel a bit like I did when I used to drink…tired, depressed and sad. Not because of the content in my feed, necessarily, but because I’m missing out on so much in my real life while I scroll scroll scroll. I keep telling myself I “don’t have time” to do some of the things I really want to do, but when I actually sit down and look at the amount of time I’m spending on social media, I realize I DO have the time, I’m just not prioritizing how I use it.
So for this month (January), I’m doing my best to stay off social media. I can’t quit cold turkey, because I have businesses to run, but I’ve taken everything off my phone except Instagram, which you can’t use from a desktop. Instead, I have logged out of my Instagram account and am only actively logged in to the August Light Studio account. Every couple of days, I log back into my Crazy Bananas account to check direct messages, but I’m not posting, liking, commenting or scrolling. I’m also posting on the August Light and Crazy Bananas Facebook pages (since I don’t have to see my personal Facebook feed to post there, thanks Facebook!). So if you need to reach me, I suggest email as opposed to social media for the time being! Already I have found I have so much more time in the day, and I can do things like write this blog post, balance my budget, read the stack of magazines that’s been sitting by my bed for days and reach out to friends in a more personal way.
I plan on getting more into a few of my other goals for the year in-depth later this month, but the two that are my priorities at the moment are focusing on friendships and becoming a more sustainable shopper, with a goal of not buying any new clothing in 2017. These are both goals that probably deserve their own posts, but you can be sure they are (so far) equal parts challenging and awesome. I am feeling excited and happy about them, instead of dreading how I’m going to make it happen or if I can do it. I think that’s a good sign!
Do you have any 2018 that have you pumped up and ready to go? Let me know in the comments (and maybe not over on social media, since I’m not there at the moment…)!
Christmas 2017
/1 Comment/in Family, Fun /by Megan