A few nights ago I went back to my old college town of Lawrence to visit a friend who is starting school there (Hi Mara!). I am so jealous of her I almost want to kidnap her and place her in a small fishing village in Korea, never to be seen again, while I take […]
Saturday night. Tequila shots. There was “breakdancing.” In public. Need I say more? I hope to GOD that no one had a video phone.
The boy bought me flowers. He’s a nice boy. I think I’ll keep him. I just had to post this to show how much of an attention whore the dog is. “Can I be in the picture? Please? I won’t eat a tampon for a month! I promise!” He also cleaned the ENTIRE HOUSE! It […]
Last night I rented a movie, which must not be named because it was a movie I had already seen with a certain friend who made me watch it with a bunch of girls. When I watch sappy movies with females (or males or monkeys) I tend to get extremely embarrassed. Yes, I can say […]
“Ummmm, Jake? Hi. There is a hairy man trying to lick me. Yes. Yes, I know it’s weird. Well, what do you want me to do?! I feel very uncomfortable here. I think I may have to use my taser gun.”
