My Lumps

So, my boobs are officially planning to take over the universe. I wouldn’t be surprised if my boobs are now on a terrorist watch list and I, being attached to them, will never be able to get through airport security again. I really didn’t think they were that huge, until I had to try on a bridesmaid dress for a certain wedding. My boobs fit into this dress (or should I say did NOT fit into this dress) in the same way that Brittany Spears’ boobs did not fit into the shirt she wore in her oh-so-serious Dateline interview last night. In fact, I think Matt Lauer should interview me about my boobs and the lack of privacy I have been experiencing since the birth of my celebrity baby. Or maybe he could interview me on the seven different types of poop that come out of my baby. Yes, SEVEN. This is strange considering she only eats one type of food (from my famous boobs) 17 times a day…