Yup, she’s a’comin!

So I went back to the doctor yesterday and they told me the baby probably won’t come this week, but she could come this week so I should be prepared. Prepared?! How the holy hell do I prepare?! So my preparation has consisted of trying not to break out into hives and taking my sorry (large) behind in to work every day, even through I would rather just sleep and lay on my couch and watch daytime television, which is the best way to prepare for the oncoming birth. I just really need to rest and, unfortunately, I’m not really getting that chance. Though I did take Monday off of work, which was FABULOUS!

And now, it seems that every time I do try and relax the world is trying to scare the crap out of me! Every single TV show I watch seems to be featuring one of these things:

a. A pregnant mother in a car accident where she dies, but the baby lives.
b. A pregnant woman with a deadly virus with which she infects her baby and they both die.
c. A pregnant woman finds out her father isn’t really dead but just left her mother for his secretary so she goes missing in an attempt to find him causing the FBI to put out a missing persons report and search New York to find her. Oh, and she also has AIDS so she can’t deliver vaginally and when they find her she’s stuck in her car on the side of the road in labor.
d. A new mother tries to drown her baby in a bathtub, but then the doctors find out that she really just has some disease, which causes a vitamin deficiency therefore causing her to have psychotic episodes where she hears voices that are telling her to kill the baby. She then attempts to smother him at the hospital and he dies, but it turns out he dies of the same vitamin deficiency and not from the smothering, but the mother still feels so guilty that when she finds out she also has cancer she refuses treatment and dies.

Seriously, prime time is killing me!!!

Also, I now have to wear what the equivilant of a diaper so I don’t pee myself every time I sit, stand, laugh, sneeze or breathe. God, pregnancy really is a magical time.