A Few Thoughts on North Carolina

One of my goals for 2012 is to try and be a more positive person in every aspect of my life. My ongoing quest to be happier has led me to the knowledge that while I can’t help being a sarcastic (and according to my husband, a snarky) person, trying to look on the bright side of things really does put me in a better mood. I know, I was surprised as you are. I’ve never really been a “lalalala life is wonderful lalalala” kind of person, so it’s been a challenge, especially when I get overwhelmed at work or my husband leaves the kitchen a mess or my kid cries for 20 minutes straight because he can’t figure out how a doorknob works. I mean, it’s a DOORKNOB! Evolution, where art thou?

But, in general, I’ve been doing an okay job. And people have noticed. I “look happier.” I “seem lighter.” I am “less of a bitch.” Sounds harsh, but it’s true. I’m better, and it has a lot to do with my new outlook. I have cut out things that I know will set me off. For example, I refuse to even look at the TV in the lobby of my office, because I know Fox News will send me in to a tizzy. I have pretty much stopped listening to NPR, because the political news makes me sick. If I have a call from someone who I know will put me in a bad mood, I hit ignore and wait to call back until I’m hyped up on happiness.

But here is my worry: Ignorance is not bliss. Just because I’m not acknowledging the insane wackos of the world doesn’t mean they disappear. Just because I am sticking my fingers in my ears and humming the theme song from the Smurfs doesn’t make them stop spewing hate, it just makes them scream louder.

I had a conversation with a co-worker today, and our main issue was understanding how this could happen. How can 70% of North Carolinians really vote against equality for all. Completely ignoring the moral issue at hand, how can a political party whose ENTIRE MANIFESTO is all about getting government out of the personal lives of the people, PUT THE GOVERNMENT DIRECTLY INTO THE MOST INTIMATE PART OF PEOPLE’S LIVES!? I really, really don’t understand.

My consolation is that I (who live in one of the most conservative states in the country, one that teaches school children that the world was created out of fairy dust by a bearded white guy 2,000 years ago…in public schools) literally don’t know a single person in my group of friends that is anti-gay marriage. And most of my friends are conservative. It’s a non-issue. We may disagree on heathcare or religion or taxes (usually all of the above), but we agree exclusively on this topic. Unfortunately, agreeing isn’t enough.

I am turning 30 later this year. I am no longer a member of the “youth vote.” And yet, amendments like those that passed in North Carolina yesterday still happen ALL THE TIME. Hey, my generation, where were we? We all get upset and angry and annoyed, but are we just forgetting to do the one thing that matters? Voting? Are we allowing the aging and ignorant population that preceded us to outvote the rights of our friends? I just don’t understand. I don’t.

I retweeted this last night, when I was too angry to form coherent sentences:

OK, guys. Let’s stop pants crapping. Let’s grow up and fix this. Because if we don’t do something, we’ll have no one to blame, but ourselves.

To get involved:

– Join the Human Rights Campaign
– Join Moms United Against NOM
– Join GLAAD
– Register to Vote
– Watch this video of the late Mauice Sendak, author of Where the Wild Things Are and gay man, who passed away yesterday, right before this sad vote happened. He was an incredible man. An incredible gay man who apparently doesn’t count in North Carolina. Makes me sick.
– Say something. Don’t just sit quietly and accept this. Get out there, whether it’s on the internet or in person or on a street corner like a crazy person, and say “Fuck this. I’m not going to take it anymore.”