Weekend Update

We’re back from Camp Spooner and, surprisingly, no one lost a limb or any brain functions that are essential for human existance. This weekend was one of those strange weekends where although fun was had by all, there was a certain amount of uncomfortable squirming.

After a good Friday night out, Trent and I drug our hungover, slightly stanky behinds out of bed and hopped in the car for a trip to good ole’ Council Grove, Kansas, population 7. My parents run their global empire of home shopping networks and space station experiments from their cabin at Council Grove city lake. Because of our affinity for drinking HEAVILY, we were a wee bit late, but damnit, we had to go on a beer run BEFORE SURRENDURING TO THE HORROR OF THE PARENTS. Just to keep everyone up to speed, Trent & I drank a total of 20 Bud Lites, 12 Boulevard Wheats and 4 fruity Segrams drinks during our 23 hours at the lake. But to be fair, my dad drank at least 4 of our drinks (I would’ve said beers, but I definetly saw him drinking a Segrams), so it’s really not as bad as it sounds.

Other than the fact that my parents think we’re raging alcoholics now, the trip was mostly a success. Trent narrowly dodged the dreaded “marriage question” from my dad, and my mother was, very much to our amazement, funny and nice to both of us. Seriously. We even got her to watch 2 episodes of Penn & Tellers Bullshit. Granted, she talked through most of it and winced in extreme pain everytime the word FUCK was uttered, but that is to be expected. We made it through the ENTIRE WEEKEND without a mention of how much they want to disown me. Incredibly. Of course, my brother’s antics as of late probably have convinced them their daughter “living in sin” isn’t that big of a deal. Hey, at least I have a job, right? And, as of this moment, I have yet to be arrested. Reach for the stars, kids.

Now we are returned home, to jobs and a mountain of laundry that I’ve been putting off for about 10 weeks. So instead of catching up on housework while Trent (who has been Mr. Wonderful lately, doing all sorts of chores while I lay on my ass watching Friends reruns) is out getting groceries, going to the hardware store, and basically being an all-around bad-ass, I’m drinking a vodka and OJ (70% to 30%) while I update my blog. Do you see what I do for YOU PEOPLE?!

I have to go. Nanny 911 is on.