Postscript: I Wasn’t Kidding About the Figure Skating Movie Marathon

Just in case you doubted me, here is proof. A transcript of my day of text messaging with KT regarding ABC Family’s Cutting Edge Marathon:

M: Cutting Edge marthon is on!!!!
M: OMG…best music/outfits ever!!!
K: The french braids! At a black tie event!
M: Pamchencko!
K: Gotta love the finishing kiss for the gold. Oy vey.
K: Wait, did they even get the gold?

M: Oh, good good, there are surfers in this one.
K: I’ve never seen this one…who is that chick? I’ve seen her before. The Jackie main chick, I mean. And is that Oksana Baiul?
M: No idea who that chick is…she reminds me of Miley Cyrus.
K: She was in some teen Nickelodeon show I think (oh god, my true colors are showing).
K: She was on Even Stevens (thank you IMDB)
M: Dude, this boy is cute, but he sorta reminds me of Spencer Pratt.
M: Gah! Puffy sleeves!!!
K: Puffy sleeves!!!
K: Good god.
M: Gold lame bra top!
K: That is one ugly outfit.

M: Okay, starting CE3.
K: Um, CE3 has the steamy guy from the new 90210.
M: Hmmm…I’m seeing a theme here.
K: Uh, yea.
M: Are pairs ice skaters actually so popular that they are watched by the papparazzi?
K: Um yeeeeeeaaaaaa, they are the coolest.
M: Trent is now watching with me. He has already predicted the entire movie. “Dude, just go do the Russian chick.”
M: “Oh, she’s mean, I can’t skate with someone who’s mean!”
K: She’s a man eater!
K: Gag me.
M: Trent has laughed out loud way more then I have. I think he is secretly loving this.
K: He would. Him and his LAN parties.
M: Random note: I need to find a profession where my job is to stay in kickass shape.
K: Agreed. Can I be your assistant to that job?
K: You’ll never guess what makes a return in this one.
M: PAMCHENKO!!!?????
M: Wait, so apparently it didn’t work out with Jackie and her surfer/in-line skater, right?
K: Yes. Tear.
M: Dude, he kicked her in the head with his skate on?!
K: Trent was right, the Russian is a bimbo.
M: Return of the french braid!
K: Ah, the talk before the big skate. Now where have I seen this before?

M: Starting CE4!!!
K: He is so freakin hot.
M: I know!!!
K: I like the little gap in his teeth.
M: I know, he’s not pretty, but so hot.
K: He looks like he should be on Star Trek with that outfit.
M: Maybe it’s a tribute to his alien beginnings.
K: Mmmm, but me likey the polo+hoodie+blazer combo he’s got goin on now.
M: Hothothot!!!!
K: Looks like she’s got a little more junk in the trunk since the last movie.
M: Shirtless!!!!!
K: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa speechless.
M: Who plays strip poker?
K: Humanah Humanah Humanah
K: Um, HELLO!!!
K: I want chocolate chip cookies.
M: So hot. Just. Wow.
K: Tiny. I mean tiny cartoon undies. Hello.
M: I am officially dubbing him “the hotness monster.”
K: I LOVE IT!!!
M: OMG!!!
K: HOLY SHIT!!!
M: The hotness monster strikes again!
K: ABC family whaaaaat!
K: Megan is now hiding.
M: Shut it.
K: hahahahahaha
M: That happened way too early, something has to split them up before they skate. It’s the Cutting Edge way.
K: Aaaaaannndd cut to old partner.
M: Don’t be sad, hotness monster.
M: Ruh, roh….enter bad decisions.
K: “Doesn’t that involve reading or something?” *ick.
M: She’s not even cute!
K: At all. Bad hotness monster. Bad.
M: Nooooooo!!!! Mean hotness monster!
K: Awful hair ribbon.
M: Is that a skirt of fringe?
M: They get to skate!!!! And he’s still extremely hot!
K: Rawr.
M: Betcha wanna watch Roswell now
K: Uh yea. I’ll be picturing him like this though.
K: Cue Megan hiding.
M: Good grief.
M: And goodnight, hotness monster.