Mah hart be breakin' - Crazybananas

Yesterday was Lucy’s first (and maybe last for a while) dance recital. She’s been in this adorable little tap/ballet class since September, and every year the entire dance school does a charity performance around the holidays to benefit a local organization (this year’s recipient was Operation Breakthrough). I’ve been to about a zillion of these performances, due to my niece, Sloan, who’s been going to this dance school forever, so I had a vague idea of what I was getting myself in to.

The key word there is VAGUE, because I really had no f’ing clue.

After an awful day filled with hard deadlines at work and being pulled in seven different directions, along with a lovely moment of panic when we realized we’d lost Lu’s dance bag containing her ballet shoes and the rush to find some new ones, we arrived at the high school where the performance was to take place. Only to realize, oh whoops, we were at the wrong school. When we finally reached our final destination, I ran backstage with Lu to check her in, leaving my camera and my dignity in the car. The rush of kids backstage was seriously insane, and the minute Lu saw what was happening around her, she clung to me and whispered, “I don’t want to do this, can we go home?”

And for a moment, I was all, dude, me too, but I somehow pulled my shit together and left her behind the stage. I didn’t look back, it would’ve been too awful. I found my seat with Trent, frazzled, wide-eyed, and honestly, a little bit sick to my stomach. My sister, of course, had her camera and offered to take pictures for me. Lu’s song was the second one of the performance, so I sat through one song, hands clammy and heart pounding.

Then about 15 little girls walked timidly out on the stage, with Lu in the back. She took one look at the crowd and mouthed the word, “Mommy.” Her little lower lip stuck out like she was going to start bawling at any moment. Trent and I both held our breaths through the entire song, whispering softly our encouragement.

And she did it. She looked scared and lost and confused, but she totally did it. And then she sat through the rest of the performances with her class like a total badass. And when I finally got to hug her after the show was over, she said, “Mommy, I was a little bit shy, but I did it! Can I have a cupcake now?”