11 Months

Dear Lucy,

A few days ago you turned 11 months old. It’s hard to believe a year ago we were freaking out getting ready for your arrival. The last month has been a whirlwind for both of us. We stepped into a new world of independence, with me working full time and you going to daycare. The night before my first full day at the office I found it very difficult to put you to bed. I couldn’t help but think that I wouldn’t see you the next morning, or most mornings, from here on out. Mornings were some of my favorite times with you, laying in bed, eating, napping. You are always the happiest in the mornings, and I couldn’t help but cry a bit, knowing I’d be missing all of that.

But things have gotten much better in the last month. Your babysitter, Analiesa, and her baby girl have taken very good care of you. After a rocky first week, we both seem to be hitting our stride. We spend our afternoons together and I make sure my weekends are solely devoted to you. Saturday mornings are now my favorite time. You should see the look on your face when I walk into your bedroom on Saturday morning. Pure joy. You make me feel so fantastic in those moments.

As for you, you’re still doing all of that growing up you insist on doing. You’ve added another tooth and 5 years worth of attitude. You have begun dancing, literally waving your hands in the air like you just don’t care. Lucy, you are so street. Gangsta, even. You’ve also taken some tentative first steps on your own, though you still would rather crawl, as it’s much faster.

Lucy, this month has been exhausting. As I’m typing this, I’m also editing a video of you for a mother’s day gift, creating your b-day invites and attempting to make home-made mother’s day cards. Why am I doing all of this on a Saturday night? Because every moment you’re awake, I want to spent it with you. Even though we’re apart more often, the times we are together are incredible. I appreciate our relationship so much more now that’s it’s not as easy to maintain. I love you, little monkey. I know you love me. I can tell when I pick you up from daycare and your wrap your arms tightly around me. You’ve missed me, but you know I will always be here for you.

Love,
Mama